our future

the highlight of my lowlife

title: lowlife - that poppy
billie's POV
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my eyes slowly open and i find myself clothed and in what seems to be the guest bedroom of finneas's house. i get up and instantly fall to the floor. "shit" i cuss to myself. someone knocks on the door and i tell them to come in. the door opens and claudia walks in with a tray in her hands. "oh my god" she exclaims and places the tray down on the bed. she helps me up and back into the bed, feeling my forehead so she can see if it's hot soon after. "how're you feeling?" she asks. "weird. why am i here?" i ask. "and who are you?" i add.

"shit. come on we're going to the hos-" she starts but i cut her off. "claud, i was messing with you. but really why am i here?" i ask. "um... let's talk about this with finneas. okay?" she suggests. "okay" i agree. "have something to eat, i'll be right back." she orders before walking out. i grab the bowl of cut up fruit and take a piece of cut up mango out with a fork. i eat for a little while until i hear a knock on the door. "come in" i tell whoever is on the other side. "okay bil. let's talk about what happened last night." finneas suggests with a small sigh as he sits on the edge of the bed. "what's the last thing you remember?" claudia asks, sitting beside him. "elle got mad at me because i was um... i was touching myself and then she started choking me and she covered my mouth. she called me a slut and i was trying to tell her i couldn't breathe but like i said she was covering my mouth." i answer. finneas and claudia share a look of concern with a little bit of fear in it as well and then look back at me.

"okay. so what happened after that was i got a call from gray at around 5, maybe even 4 am. he told me that elle was yelling and acting weird and scaring him, finn and em. finneas and i drove over as quick as i could and had elise take your kids to maggie and patrick's. we followed yelling to your room as tried to open the door but it was locked. i had to kick the door open, which by the way made me feel like a badass, and found elle shouting at you even though you were still passed out. she was dressed but you weren't, i'm pretty sure you were passed out but you may have be just been sleeping. somehow i made her leave the room and finneas got you dressed. next thing i knew finneas was putting you in the back of the car and i was forcing elle to get in the other car. finneas took you home and i took elle to the hospital. maggie is with her now and patrick, elise and skylar are watching the kids." claudia explains to me. i can't do anything but stare at the floor and process everything i just heard. i feel finneas hugging me and claudia joins. "are you alright?" claudia asks. "i- i don't know." i mumble.

"billie. i want you to know that elle is not herself right now. you know her true self and that was not it. what matters is, you're physically okay and we're getting help for elle." finneas tells me, kissing the top of my head after. "i know." i say in a voice so soft he can probably barely hear it. "i love you billie. and so does elle. like i said. she's not herself right now." finneas assures me. "i love you too billie. whatever you want to do today, we're gonna do" claudia chimes in. "i just... i don't know what i want to do." i sigh. "i want to see my kids. i want to make sure they're okay. they're the highlight of my lowlife. and so are you guys." i say after a few seconds. "okay. we can do that." they agree. "i'll call elise and tell them to bring the kids home." finneas tells me. "okay." i nod. i get out of bed and my legs start tingling again before i tumble to the floor for the second time. "you alright billie?" finneas asks with a look of concern. "yeah. yeah i'm good" i nod, standing back up. i shake both my legs for a few seconds and close my eyes, doing the same with my arms as well. "that was weird" i laugh it off quietly and starting to walk down to the living room where the piano is.

i play a simple melody at first off the top of my head but it slowly gets more complex as i go. i close my eyes and let my fingers glide around the keys and just melt into the music. i add vocals in every few seconds and sing the first words that come to my head. "irritated, complicated, feeling hated and our world is weighted." i sing softly. i continue singing until i hear the door open and see the triplets run in. they run to me and hug me, making me cheer up a little. "why were you and mommy arguing this morning?" gray asks. "let's not worry about that right now okay? have you guys eaten?" i question. "yeah, boppa made pancakes" em says excitedly, talking about dad when she says boppa. "really? lucky" i smile, making them laugh. "what do you guys want to do today?" i ask. "swim!" finn answers happily. "alright. i'm gonna go get bear and blu and your swim suits. you stay here with aunt claudia and uncle finneas." i order. "okay mama." em agrees. "i love you guys so much. i'll be back as soon as possible." i tell them. i hug each of them and walk to the other room to say goodbye to finneas and claudia. "i'm gonna go get the kids' swim suits and the dogs. i'll be back." i explain. "oh, blu went with elle to the hospital because he's a therapy dog
but we'll see you later" claudia informs me. "alright. love you guys." i say as i hug them both. "love you too" they respond.

i get to the house to find our whole room trashed and the door somehow broken off the frame. damn, claudia kicked it hard. i pack a bag of my stuff and bags of the kids' stuff as well because i'm not sure how long we're going to be staying with finneas and claudia. i get bear on his leash and go back to finneas and claudia's.

once i get there i let bear off his leash and he immediately runs to peach. they both bark at each other and stick their butts in the air like they do before they start playing. they run to the backyard and i laugh a little. "alright kids, come get your swim suits" i call through the house. they come running except gray who just walks behind, obviously tired. i should talk to him. "okay, go get changed" i tell finn and em, handing them their suits. they obey and rush to the bathroom and the guest bedroom.

"gray, can i talk to you?" i stop him. "okay mama" he nods. "i just want you to know, i am so proud of you for calling aunt claudia." i tell him. "mommy was scaring us. i didn't know what else to do." he says with a look of sadness. "you did the right thing. i'm sorry mommy was scaring you but you know what?" i ask. "what?" he tilts his head slightly. "even though that was mommy's voice in mommy's body, that's not her. you know her. she doesn't yell like that. she doesn't scare you. that's not her. i don't know how to explain it but that's not her true self. so why don't we come up with a name for who that was?" i suggest. "okay" he nods. "what about kraken? so if this happens again we can say she released the kraken" i say, making him laugh. "yes. kraken" he agrees. "but just know that she doesn't purposely 'release the kraken' on purpose. you'll understand it more when you're older but i'm not sure how to explain it because right now, i don't fully understand it either." i explain to him. "okay mama. can we go swimming now?" he asks hopefully. "yeah, but give me a hug first" i order, holding my arms open. he gives in and hugs me, kissing my cheek because i do that to him. "i love you so much little man." i whisper to him. "i love you too mama." he responds. "now let's go get changed and go swimming" i smile, making him smile too.