Hi I am drunk and writing out basically something that kinda happened to me recently with my own ex as my shuffle reminded me that this song existed and I promptly exploded. I think this is just a one shot unless everyone decides to want something else and I feel that spark. It also has a hint of a second song as well as I couldn't help it.
~ is for the first flashback~
**is for the second flashback**
~You find yourself at my door~
**Find myself at your door**
You find yourself in a situation you never thought you'd be in for several reasons. You always figured that if/when you left that it would be happy and joyous with a party and friendship. You never thought in a million years you'd be leaving alone in the middle of the night to avoid everyone but the janitor, Gary who's very sweet but just not what you ever imagined.
~His breath is heated against my neck which is arched as his lips and teeth graze it. What started as a fun movie night quickly turned into something much more.~
**Your breath is icy, screaming that you don't deserve this, that you don't understand this, to please make you understand what the fuck is happening right now**
The only person who knows you're leaving is your boss, and he respected your request that no one else knows until after. You don't think you could take it, the questions, and sadness, and the stares, especially his stare. Not after that night, and the other one. Both nights you wish you could drink out of your memory and trust me, you've tried.
~He states that this is the last time he's asking you this, as you're both panting naked on the couch, him almost entering you, if you're sure. You moan in response, burying your face in his shoulder and then whispering yes, knowing that that yes could break you.~
**I look at the floor, in your room, and I feel all alone. You open your eyes into mine and everything feels worse.**
You bring the last box to your car, and then walk back up to hand in your badge to your boss, and say goodbye to what has been your home for years. You make the rounds even though no one is there.
~As bodies feel like they become one, you know that this is just physical, you've never believed love besides it being a chemical reaction in your brain. You never wanted to get married, you find the concept of a wedding silly and children are not an option in your brain, they never were. Yet as your bodies seemed to fit perfectly together he seemed to have different ideas, as when he spilled himself inside of you, he also spilled himself to you whispering an I love you.~
**You find yourself screaming, maybe at him, maybe at yourself. Screaming that you never wanted a wedding before him, now you were being ripped of a simple courthouse ceremony then a drunken party at Rossi's. Screaming that you hated children, now couldn't stop picturing mini geniuses running around with fluffy dirty blonde hair. Screaming in a ragged voice that you wish you had never met him because you wish you never knew the pain of love.**
You start where you've always found solace, Pen's. You look at her office, which is the definition of her, bright and fun and sparkly and weirdly put, a little afraid, because she always is when she's working. Afraid of what she's seeing and afraid for her team, her family. You bop one of the bobble heads and stare as it slowly stops moving, and when it does, you leave.
Then you go to JJ's, the mama bear of the group besides Morgan. The blond woman always felt like an older sister to you, and you feel a twinge of sadness thinking about the fact that her kids will also miss you a lot.
