Hey everyone...
this took forever x2 and I'm extremely sorry about that, but I work as a paramedic so everything was very hectic with Covid-19... and I don't know if you heard about the Beirut explosion, but that's my city (I'm safe, my family is safe) and for about a month I just logged off from everything and I focused all my time on what I can do to help my city.
But now I'm back, there's another chapter coming today, in just a couple of hours. (maybe more chapters today?)
Anyway, sorry for the delay, thank you for coming back after such a long wait.
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NOW - Jade
All my life, I thought I knew what sex was, knew what love was, and knew the difference between the two.
But here you are. You're letting me pound into you, my hand curled around your shoulder to keep you in place. You're giving back just as good, with your leg stretched like that, and your hips moving so fast and steady.
The slide of your skin against mine so fast, so hot that it feels like you're setting me on fire. The look on your face of such utter pleasure that you're scratching at the sheets to express it. Those tiny words, more, yes, like that, like that, just like that, please, please, that are directions and requests. That slick, steady motion, the smell of sweat and salt, that hypnotic motion, in, out, in out, let's end this right now, no, let's keep going forever. This is sex.
But with you, it's love too. It's both. And with you, love is also so much of the dumb, simple things I never even noticed before. Like how you sit on the arm of my chair at the coffee shop because you don't want to be too far away. It's the way you always kiss me a little longer if we've been apart, it's you dancing with me at my Jesy's wedding, and everyone who saw us thought "they're next". It's that we are next. Love with you is sex and it's also the nights we don't have sex, when we do nothing or we do ridiculous things.
And of course, there's this:
"It's just... doesn't it get in the way? I mean, it's floppy," you're saying, a little while after we've finished for the second time. You're mumbling a bit, drifting off to sleep but you just don't quite want to stop talking yet and I don't want you to.
"It's not floppy, and how would I know?" I say.
"Okay, not floppy," you concede. You roll over on your side to face me as you tuck both your hands under your cheek. "It's... dangly. We don't have anything that flops or dangles."
"Thank God."
"They're just so strange. Like you're just walking around, and there it is, in your pants, a..."
"Perrie, don't you think you should be able to say the word by now?"
You scrunch up your nose. "It's not so much a problem with saying the word as it is word choice," you say. You shift on to your stomach and slide a hand across my hips, tucking it firmly into the waistband of my shorts. It's how you fall asleep every night.
"Word choice?" I ask.
"Yeah. Like... penis is too clinical. Cock is too porno. And dick is an adjective." I raise an eyebrow but you're talking with your eyes closed, half asleep. "As in: man, it was really dick of you to tease me about my inability to name your genitalia."
I make a face. "Don't say 'genitalia' please."
"What do you want me to call it?"
