What Happens Now?

Suffocating

A/N: I might be updating this from time to time but it feels wonderful to finally be back in Wattpad and writing again because the inner writer within me has been kept under lock and key for TOO LONG.
Enjoy ;)
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For the first few months of school everything was going great.

Her schoolwork was basically non-existent as she finished everything ahead of time and even contacted her teachers for any possible assignments to finish only to get calls and emails saying that she needed to relax from working so much. A few of them thought she was trying to enter college early and told her that she had more than enough time to get in and to enjoy her high school years instead of trying to leave so soon.

Not to mention that some of her major projects that were due during that time were all completed and perfected before their due dates in the second semester, which only prompted her teachers to call her parents for a conference on their worry for Shope's extreme interest of completing things ahead of time and some concerns about what was going on at home.

Her parents had laughed and said their daughter was a dedicated student to all her courses and even asked for the clarification to get her into AP Level classes for the year, classes which were only given to Sophomores after an entrance exam was passed with an 85%.

The school had been hesitant but after Shope passed the entrance exam they required with flying colors, had agreed to let her into their AP Courses for the rest of the following quarters but stated she needed to pass the exam again next year if she wanted to continue there.

The only bad thing about her dedication to finishing her work was however that she didn't have a social life outside of school.

Legitimately, no social life.

No one would approach her during class to ask how she's been or even to sit down and meet who she was.

The few people she managed to meet and got to talk to her were strictly in-class friends and in-class friends only with the exception of one girl who tried from time to time but was too busy with other friends to actually pay attention to her.

It had been made clear to her when she tried to say hi to a popular girl from her Algebra class only to be looked at weirdly by the other girls and ignored. It had been the most humiliating experience for her and she had skipped lunch for the following week after that, ignoring the girl in question during class and only talking to her in any assignment they were paired up.

She had followers on her the social media she had created during her free time but most of then were because of the clubs her parents had signed her up for and the classmates that only wanted follow backs to boost their popularity. None of them were ever real friends, chatting for only a few memes or work they needed help on but strictly that and nothing more.

"This is incredibly lame." growling at the video game before her, lost in her mind as she managed to hide from the police in an alleyway in GTA V. She could hear through the speakers the nearing sirens and could see on the map how they were getting closer and closer to her because of her 3 stars.

Heavens knew if a virus pod was created and had managed to attack Cornbury's residents. Of course, if the virus HAD managed to attack there was no denying that the rest of the Supernoobs had succeeded in defeating it. "What am I saying, of course they did! If they hadn't I would have been seeing it on the NEWS by now!" She slammed the controller on the ground, feeling ashamed to even think of such a horrible thing happening to her hometown and the people within it.

She sighed as she stood up, walking over to her nightstand and taking out her old phone. The poor thing had malfunctioned and failed to turn on before she moved never to turn on during the summer, meaning that any photos she had with her boys were all gone. 'Maybe one more time couldn't hurt?" she thought as she began pressing the power button, waiting for it to come to life and show her the messages and calls and memories of her friends she missed dearly before giving up.

Shope felt tears slowly roll down her face as her little broken heart added an extra crack and sobbed as she slammed the phone back into the drawer. Her chest began the all-too-familiar pain, her heart slowly beating a bit quicker. She hopped off her bed and onto the floor as the incoming attack came down on her hard as it always did.

[Anxiety Attack warning]

She grabbed the pillow she had been sitting on and muffled her sobs as she felt her hands twitch, her chest tightening rapidly, tears falling rapidly and snot running down her nose as she silently screamed into it, feeling the warmth on the pillow from all the carbon she had let out.

Voices screamed in her head, merciless with their words.

'USELESS!'

'WHY WOULD ANYONE CARE ABOUT YOU?!'

'STOP PRETENDING THEY MISS YOU WHEN YOU WERE TOO MUCH OF A COWARD TO EVEN SAY GOODBYE'

'THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT'

'YOU'RE A HORRIBLE FRIEND'

'THEY WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER OFF IN THEIR LIVES IF YOU NEVER CAME INTO IT'

'MAYBE YOU SHOULD END IT!'

Shope shook her head at the last thought, eyes snapping shut and grabbed at her hair to try and quiet them as they continued screaming at her. She silently screamed louder for her friends, the boys she loved with all her heart as they had become a part of her life and family. She felt herself get more and more light-headed as her breath got heavier, feeling as if she was suffocating.

She threw the pillow off of her and began gasping for air as she felt her throat tighten, choking her. She was close to smashing her head against the floor and snapping her neck against her nightstand to end the feeling when she saw the familiar glow of her battleball on her nightstand. Shope scrambled onto her knees and smashed it into her chest, securing tightly with the familiar hue coming out.

Her battle ball summoned forth a gust of wind through her window, letting her breathing slow down as gusts of wind entered through her window to cool and calm her down.

She let out soft sniffles as her tears stopped and her mind cleared, no longer hearing the voices in her head. She gripped her sheets and snuggled her face into her blankets feeling the need to be wrapped in a hug with the Noobs before a memory popped up, never believing she could be so stupid to forget such a thing.

She rushed to her closet, tripping on her rug at how quick she stood up before opening it. Ignoring the rug burn on her knee she reached for the box where all her old clothing was and scavaged through them, throwing articles of clothing everywhere before finally seeing it before her.

Kevin's black hoodie.

Specifically the one with a stitch on it from the time he had torn it off for her so she could be present for attendence when she turned invisible from being exposed to the Galacticus' cloaking generator. He gave it to her as a gift when his parents had seen the stitch and prompted to give him a few more identical to it so they wouldn't have to in the future. Shope had told him it was stupid of him to have given it to her when she wasn't even going to use it but now, not so much. She grabbed it with both hands and smashed her nose into it.

It smelled like Old Spice, popcorn, and the smell of Petrichor, a scent Mem had installed into the Galacticus when they complained it smelled like a hospital. The Old Spice had been from a deodorant she had given him after she got tired of the Axe body spray and the popcorn was from the amount of times they made it at any of their houses when hanging out, especially at Tyler's. She made a mental note to get those things so that the smell wouldn't wear off over time and went over to turn off the TV, slowly shifting over to her bed and going under the covers before snuggling the hoodie, putting it on.

She bundled into its smell and was happy that it was big on her, grateful for once that she never grew a chest. It felt almost as if Kevin had been there with her in her bed and hugging her to tell her she was okay.

[I have no regrets of making any of you sad at the lonely part but I am sorry if the anxiety attack triggered anything and do recommend you talk to someone you can trust or an online therapist if need be. I know better than anyone that it sucks to suffer through an anxiety attack alone and used my experiences to give them to Shope.]