Separated By Names (One Direction AU)

Chapter 8:

*Louis P.O.V*

"Are you sure you're okay Louis?" She asked again. I was laying in bed as Alyssa was making sure I wasn't slowly dying, and until she was sure, she would stay. I wanted her to leave so bad.Not only was she my annoying little sister, but she was such a know it all! The whole time she has been here, all she has been saying is 'I told you not to get into a fight, but do you listen?! No!' and 'Lou, if you just listen to me then things like this wouldn't happen!' This over all made me want to punch her in the face, but I could punch anything considering how mad I am. I mean, of all the guys Liz had to be with, why Liam?! He was Harry's best friend for gods sake! It sickened me just to think their lips touched....then it saddened me to know that will never be me. I have liked Liz since we were just kids, but I know that if we ever were together, then it would ruin everything. So now I am stuck in the back watching her be all happy with other people. Damn it! This was all Harry's fault! If he and his stupid friends didn't go tonight none of this would have happened!

"Yes Alyssa, stop worrying about me." I groaned. She sighed, then gave me a dirty look.

"You know what Lou? Liz may have forgotten what happened, but that doesn't mean the rest of us just forgot about it too." She said, looking over her shoulder. She then began walking toward the door. She did NOT just go there.

"What are you even talking about?" I asked, now scowling and sitting up. She stopped, and snapped back to face me.

"What am I talking about?! Louis, you kissed Liz two years ago after peeking at her getting dressed, and she remembers none of it! You act like no one else remembers it, but trust me,m Zayn and I still remember it as if it were yesterday, so you better stop trying to act like everything is okay now. Do you have any idea how hard it is to not tell her? Liz is so clueless because that part of her life was just erased completely, and you act like a jack ass pretending everything is fine!" She yelled. I just stared at her, holding back tears. Was I really doing that? How much have we really kept from Liz? Was it that big of a deal? I swallowed hard and tried to blink away more tears. Liz meant so much to me, and finding out that this whole time, she has been hurting the way she has killed me inside. "Say something Lou, just fucking say something." She sighed.

"I...I just wanted things to be-" I started, but she cut me off.

"I know, the way they were before it happened, but that doesn't mean you try and erase history." She said. I just stared at her for a while, wondering if I was really the good guy or not. "Oh, by the way, I...I wanted to tell you something." She said, her voice now shaking a bit.

"What?"

"Liz...we were driving home and she was having a really bad headache. She kept saying her head was throbbing. So I just told her to try and sleep, and maybe she would feel better, but when she did, like five minutes later, she woke up, like she had a nightmare. I asked what was wrong, and she told me...she had almost a vision." Alyssa explained. I just stared at her, puzzled. "When I asked her what she saw, she said she saw flashbacks of how she got hit...including a flash of you kissing her." She added. An icy chill went down my spine as I thought of her suddenly remembering what I did. I was so lucky she forgot, and I guess, yeah, I have been trying to act like it all never happened for the past year or so, but the thought of her remembering made me want to throw myself under a bus. My stomach began to tie itself into knots and I could almost feel the vomit coming up. Liz would remember what happened and then I would loose her for good.

"I...but the doctor said-" I started, but she cut me off...again.

"The doctor said that her memory would return over time, but I guess you forgot." She said with sass. A single tear streamed down my cheek, and suddenly, I just wanted to hold Liz close and tell her I was so sorry. Tell her that I was sorry for being the biggest fuck up alive, because I screwed up everything between us. It was my fault, simple as that. This whole thing was my fault. It was my fault that Liz remembered nothing, it was my fault she got hit, it was my fault for making my sister and my only best friend keep a huge secret from Liz, and most importantly, it was my fault that Liz almost committed suicide last year.

*FLASHBACK*

I ran down the cold hospital halls looking for her room. Last time I was here, I swore I would never come back. Guess I can't keep a promise. Here I was, running to see Liz again, but this time, another person didn't hurt her, but she had hurt herself. I kept running until I passed one window and saw her, her head resting on her knees, talking with a nurse, unlike the last time I saw her in a hospital bed. Last time, she was unconscious, and she couldn't hear what I was saying. Now, she was totally active, and instead of asleep in a minor coma, her eyes were wet with tears, and all the way from outside, I could see there was smeared crimson substance on her left wrist. I sprinted inside and stared her down with shock. When Liz saw me, I could see the tears in her eyes. The nurse left, leaving us alone, suspecting that we would want to talk privately.

"L-Louis...please don't be-" She started, then stopped as I ran to her and held her close. I didn't say anything at all. I just cried into her shoulder. Her arms slowly wrapped around me.

"Why didn't you tell me about this?" I asked, I felt her body begin to shake.

"I...I don't know Louis..." She said in sobs. I could feel her grip on me tighten, and I only held her closer.

"Liz...I couldn't live without you. You are my everything. I can't be strong without you." I claimed. I was standing over the hospital bed, then moved up onto it and held her closer than I ever have before. I was loving every minute of this. This is the way it had to be. Life was nothing without Liz. She needed to be in my life.

"Louis...I just want to be okay!" She cried into my shirt loudly. I just kissed the top of her head and tried to keep her calm, caressing her hair slowly. I saw Zayn and Alyssa peek their heads in the doorway, but I motioned them to get out. Once they ran away I went back to calming her down. Her cries were now louder, and I wish that I had the power to stop all her tears, and stop all the bad feelings inside of her head, but I just didn't. Everyday I wanted to tell her she was beautiful, and that no one could replace her in my heart, but that would end our friendship ultimately. If only I could tell her how I truly felt. I would tell her how beautiful she is, even at times when she thinks she isn't, that she makes my heart skip beats every time I'm near her, and that even though she thinks I hate her, I love her with all my being.

"I know...I know you do...Liz...there's something..." I started, but my voice trailed off as tears blurred my eyes. I couldn't do this, not right now, and not to our friendship. What if she didn't feel the same way? What if she hated me for it? I let my own tears fall as I gave her one last squeeze. I pulled away as I looked into her icy blue eyes while they were looking at me, then her head dipped down. "Hey now," I started to say with a smile, wiping my tears away then tilting her head up by her chin. Hedr eyes were red and puffy, but it only made the blue stand out more.

"Louis?" She said in a questionable tone.

"Liz, I am going to let the doctors talk to you, but you have to remember that no matter what stupid words come out of my mouth, or what idiotic things I do, I want you to know that you are my whole world. You are what keeps me strong, and I can't live without you." I say. She stares at me for a while, then smiles and holds me tight.

"Thanks Lou, you are my best friend."

*END OF FLASHBACK*

"She...she can't remember...Alyssa, that will ruin everything!" I shouted. She just looked down at her feet.

"You know Lou...I just think that she will let it go. Maybe it will mean nothing to her." She sighed.

"Nothing?! My feelings will mean nothing?!" I yelled at her. Alyssa was now getting scared. Tears were falling from my eyes, I had no chance of holding them back. I got up from my bed and walked over to the window.

"Lou, what are you doing?!" She asked running over to the window.

"I need some air, get AWAY!" I screamed opening the window, walking out onto the roof, then jumping off. My ankle gave in a bit, maybe twisted in a wrong direction, but I didn't care. I got up, and ran down the street. I needed to get away from here. I needed to get away from the drama, Alyssa, Zayn, and everyone. Even Liz? I wondered. More hot tears blurred my eyes as I imagined her reaction to my absence. All I needed to do was clear my head, and get rid of the stress.

Where is one place that no one would go to? I thought.

The old train car?

I turned one corner, then the next, and began to cut through the field we always used to get over to the old train car. I was going to my happy place.