f o r t y t h r e e

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father;
im a newborn but you're not here
mom is all alone
she's so sad
why didn't you come?
father;
i'm three years old
and you say i'm not yours
mom's been crying lately
why can't you have girls?
father;
i'm seven years old
mom wants to leave
someone is covered in bruises
why do you smell like alcohol?
father;
i'm ten years old
you split up
i look up "cheat" in the dictionary
why aren't we a family anymore?
father;
i'm thirteen years old
and you're still not here
you never talk to me
why won't you make the effort?
father;
i'm sixteen years old
i met someone at school
i think i'm in love
can i tell you about him?
father;
i'm twenty years old
you still haven't changed
i'm told you still like to "raise your voice"
can anyone really change?
i'm twenty five years old
i just had my first baby
mom walked me down the aisle
you still haven't met my husband.
i'm thirty five years old
my husband is sick
i don't know what to do
where are you?
i'm forty five now
my kids are grown up
i have three, two boys and a girl
they only know you in name.
i'm fifty years old.
it's been so long.
i can't help myself from crying
as i lay flowers on your grave.
why didn't you try harder?

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