Lit Up

Chapter 6

She dreamed about it again and it felt just like it had felt that day, hurt just like it had hurt. She awoke from the dream, sweat beads dotting her forehead. The top of her sleep wear was drenched in sweat, either as a result of the anxiety the dream had imposed on her or the heat from lack of power supply. She left her bed; her heart beating wildly, her chest still heaving and walked slowly towards the bathroom like a heavy weight was placed on her shoulders. She indeed had a heavy weight seating on her shoulders, inflicting pain on her body and mind. She cried everyday for relief. She splashed cold water on her face and rested both her hands on the sink.
She let out a groan and hot tears began to flow unrestrained. She let them be as they ran down her cheeks. She looked at her reflection and cried harder. She was broken. The pain had broken her. She would give anything to feel happy, to breathe, to live without the pain piercing her heart, to feel normal again.

She forced herself back to sleep after two hours of turning and tossing. She didn’t dream this time and was beyond grateful.

She was cleaning up her room later than morning when a call from her ‘long lost friend’, Sharon came in.

“Sharon? Ehn? Are my eyes deceiving me?”

She swiped to accept the call and put the phone to her ear.

“Sharon? Wetin happen wey you remember me?”

Sharon’s high pitched laughter rang through the phone. “You are always in my heart, babe. I’ve just been busy.”

“Busy running things abi? Because you nor get work, you nor dey school but you dey busy,” Fikayo spewed without giving it much thought. She almost regretted her words...almost.

Sharon’s voice was furious as she said, “WAIT! What are you insinuating?”
She wasn’t one to back down or shy away from a confrontation.

“I’m insinuating exactly what I said, Sharon.”

Sharon chuckled humourlessly and started to talk but Fikayo cut in quickly, “And NO, it’s not an insult. I just want to know why you’ve decided to tread this path.”

“It’s none of your business if I decide to use my body to get a good life, Fikayo. The last time I checked, you aren’t exactly a saint! Let’s not forget your dirty little secret, you smoking addict. Daddy hurt you a few times and you become a whiny, crying baby, pretending to be broken like you did not enjoy it. Hypocritical b***h!”

Fikayo’s body trembled and she slid to the floor, shocked at the words of her friend. She did not recognise Sharon anymore; her sweet friend who was as broken as she was; their brokenness had brought them close and they had opened up to each other, cried, comforted each other in their pains. She had taught her to bury the pain with a lit cigarette. She had introduced her into this madness that was supposed to comfort her but had further broken her. How had she become a smoker? Who was she and what had this pain done to her?

***
Fire noticed her sour mood and probed her to tell her what was wrong. As usual, she didn’t budge, instead she lied that she had menstrual pain. Fire went ahead to cook Jollof Spaghetti for her and gave her two paracetamol tablets after she ate. She swallowed the medicine so her sister wouldn’t suspect her lie.

“Let’s go to the mall. We’ll take a taxi, no flying bike things. I don’t like your sour mood,” Fire held her cheek and caressed it. She moved her face away from her sister’s grip and cleared her throat.

“I’m not sure about that, Fire. I just want to sleep,” she said in a low tone.

“You need to cheer up. We can watch a movie or play games at the games centre. I’m not happy seeing you so moody.”