Before the storm

"Secret"

Jaynes POV:
Chris slips his arm around me as the credits begin to roll.
"Good movie!" He says quietly.
"How would you know? You slept through most of it!" I smile.
"Well I'm jet lagged, I can't help it!"
"I wasn't really watching it either" I admit.
He turns his head and our eyes meet once again.
"Things are going to be alright you know. Whatever you decide to do"
I remain silent for a moment in order to gather my thoughts. I realise this is impossible- there are too many, racing through my head, making me fee sick. I feel Chris' arm tightening round my shoulders. He leans closer until his cheek brushes against my own.
"It's getting late, I think i'll get off to bed"
He smiles and nods, before giving me a kiss on the cheek. He wishes me goodnight as i get up and go to leave the room but I can tell there is something else- something that he's desperate to talk about. He occasionally tries to bring it up, when it's late and he's tired, when we've had a few drinks and were snuggled up together. I leave quickly, before he has chance.
I'm so tired but I can't seem to settle. My mind is too occupied. Amongst all of the mixed up anxieties there is one thing playing on my mind. It isn't phil or my impending breakup. It's something else. A thought I never allow myself to fully process. Perhaps that's why it's always there- lingering in the back of my mind. I guess it's more of a memory than a thought. A secret perhaps.
I hear Chris walk up the stairs, quietly, obviously conscious not to wake me.
"Night Chris-sleep well"
He pops his head around the door.
"Night Torv.. Are you alright?"
Again, he doesn't wait for an answer. He sits on the edge of my bed.
"Why won't you ever talk about it?"
"About what?"
"You know what... That night...all those years ago...don't pretend you don't remember"
" night Chris. Thanks for staying here with me. Thanks for being such an amazing friend- you're the very best"
Changing the subject usually works. And I mean every word of it- Christopher is my rock- sometimes the only constant element in my life. No matter what happens, there is always one thing sure to remain the same. Me and him will never part. Never.