slowly fading memories | watty's2016

6

~Holly Fisher~

        I slammed my locker shut and closed my eyes, allowing myself a moment to sigh and wallow in my thoughts. As I did this, day by day, I found it increasingly difficult to pull myself from my brooding. A pair of arms wrapped around me and plucked me away from the cold metal I'd been slumped against. My eyes instantly snapped open and I looked around, startled and more than a little panicked. I was turned and met the amused, storm-blue eyes of Jake Hassan, the star-quarterback and, of course, my stereotypical boyfriend. I plastered a smile on my face and pretended to be happily surprised, recovering quickly from my moment of weakness.

        "Jakey! I thought you were practicing! What a great surprise!" I said, overly excited and perky. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I pressed my lips roughly to his, kissing him in the middle of the hallway. He pulled back a little in surprise, but responded quickly. I had to hide my disgust. Sure, he was good-looking and wasn't the worst kisser, but he was no Dalton.

        I pulled away and looked at him, biting my lip with a smile. I'd mastered the I-can't-believe-how-lucky-I-am face; blank and high-school girl-like. It donned my features now, and with perfected practice, I even managed to add a twinkle in my eyes that covered the endless abyss hidden just below the surface. Obviously Jake bought it, matching my grin with one of his own dimpled ones.

        In one swift whirl, he'd moved my arm from around his neck to his back and slipped a hand around my waist, pulling me against him.

        "Need a walk to class?" He said with a signature smile that made some girls turn to jelly, but was hollow to me. It was the smile of someone who knew he looked good, so decided not to put forth any effort.

        I tilted my head sweetly and smiled.

        "Sure!"

        As he guided me down the hall, I listened to him talk about football, trying not to succumb to the increasingly tempting black hole that was my mind. I clung to his words like a lifeline, though I was beginning to consider letting go and finally releasing myself into the darkness of life.

        "—so Coach was like, 'Come on boys, lets go, lets go!' The guys and I had to work super hard just to get through practice, but we were let out early and I guess it was worth it to get to see you..."

        I guess? Who says 'I guess I like seeing you?' It's like telling a girl, 'I guess you're pretty.' Seriously? That ticks me off, even though I really don't give a crap about Jake. Sure he seems sweet, but he's really just another air-headed jock who glides through life only with the success of others to push him up; never lifting a finger yet gobbling up everyone's achievements as if they're his own. I was never like that — I guess, until now.

        And as I walked through the halls with a boy I couldn't care less about and a mind that was beginning to swallow me whole, a bleak thought crossed my mind.

 Oh, how the mighty have fallen.