Preparing For The Future (Book Twelve of The Bad Wolf Chronicles)

The Witch's Familiar

Missy hosts storytime, the Doctor's up for dodgems, Tony wishes he had his suit, Wanda can't believe the things she does sometimes, and Jessie wonders something about the Daleks.

Enjoy "The Witch's Familiar!"

***

"You know, I wish I could say this is the weirdest way I've ever woken up." Clara had to force her eyes open when she heard Tony's voice somewhere nearby. "Rope around the body and hung upside down by my feet? Nope, not it."

"An alien planet has to be a first, though," Pietro said from another direction.

"OK, yes, that part is a first."

"Consider the Doctor!" Missy cut through the chatter, and Clara tried to shake her head, only to groan when she felt all the blood rush to her brain. "The Doctor, trapped. The Doctor, alone." Clara finally saw her – albeit upside down – and making a pointed stick with a knife. The Time Lady tilted her head, looking at them. "You all right there, dears?"

"I hate you," Wanda deadpanned.

"Oh, tell me something I don't know, witch."

"Where are we?" Clara twisted to see the others in the same predicament as her. "How did we – ?"

"Shh, now," Missy put a finger to her lips. "Mummy's talking. OK, I'm going to tell you a story of the Doctor. It's classic. On the run, no TARDIS. No friends, no help, no blood bonded. In other words: the Doctor, happy."

"Yeah, I'm gonna have to disagree with you on that last part," Tony scowled.

Missy ignored him. "It was a long time ago. Doesn't matter which face he was wearing, they're all the Doctor to me. So, let's give it to the eyebrows."

"But the Daleks," Clara began.

"Yes, I'm coming to that," Missy huffed.

"And, um . . . " Pietro grimaced, trying to wriggle himself free. "Not that I'm complaining, but shouldn't we be dead?"

"Hush!" Missy scowled at him, then continued sharpening her stick. "He's traveling by teleporter. Unfortunately, his teleporter is out of power. Also unfortunate, he's being stalked by . . . oh, say about, fifty android assassins? I may be rounding up." She examined her stick, then poked herself with it. "Ow," she hissed, smiling in satisfaction. "Fifty invisible, indestructible android assassins, all exclusively programmed to kill him."

"So, Ultron bots," Wanda snorted.

"Except they weren't indestructible," Tony countered.

"They almost were!"

"Why are you sharpening that stick?" Clara asked.

"Well, I've no idea how long we're going to be stuck out here," Missy shrugged. "Might have to go hunting."

"So," Clara frowned at the ropes. "Why are we tied up?"

Missy winked saucily. "In case there's nothing to hunt."

Pietro sighed. "This is when I wish I could phase like the Bad Wolf."

"Hang on," Wanda tried to twist around. "I may be able to . . . "

"Now, where was I?" Missy frowned. "Ah, yes! The Doctor, then. Surrounded, outnumbered, outgunned . . . and freeze! Nanoseconds to live. four, I'd say, being generous. Now, my question is . . . " She stood up and walked towards them. "How did he survive?"

Pietro frowned, trying to think. "Er – "

"Oh, not you, wolf pet!" Missy jabbed him with the stick. "I'm asking the Doctor's pet. Come on, Clara! You know him. Consider the Doctor."