what happens after this?

Preface

Dear reader, I honestly wish I could tell you that I survived this. I already knew I was going to die. I could tell by the devastated looks my dad and sister kept throwing at me, they knew it too. My breath was coming out all noisy, I never ate, drank, or spoke, I rarely even moved and I kept wetting the thick blankets I was swathed in on the leather couch where I slept. Mind you, I slept 99% of the time, I could only tell I was wetting myself because the blankets were changed every time I woke up. Not that being awake was much different from being asleep - seriously, I could barely move. So when I opened my eyes after sleeping for who knows how long, and I couldn't see, I wasn't very surprised.

Slowly, I lost my hearing and my sense of touch in my hands and feet. That was when I knew I was dying. Before I knew it there were hands on my face and chest. My heart was spluttering unevenly. To be completely honest, I was a little relieved. I was sick of this life of nothing. It was SO boring. And I was a little excited... I would soon figure out what happens when people die.

It was slowly getting harder and harder to breathe. A slow pain was building up in my head. I abruptly wished death would hurry up and get it over with.

Suddenly I could see and hear everything. My dad had his arms wrapped tenderly around me. His face was streaked with tears.

'Dad?' I managed to choke out.

'Shh, baby, it'll be ok' he whispered.

I suddenly felt guilty. How was he going to look after my little sister, Parker? Ever since mum died 3 years ago, he's relied heavily on me to support our family. Wherever I go after this I vowed to myself that I would watch over our family, along with whatever else it is dead people do... But how could I ever live with myself after I've left them?

Oh, that's right. I couldn't.

'Shh, love' Dad choked, 'You can let go now.'

'I'm sorry...'

'We forgive you'

'Where's Parker?'

'I'm here' my 10-year-old sister whimpered.

'I'm so, so sorry,' I whispered.

She didn't say anything but threw her arms around my fragile body. 'I love you so much' she sobbed.

Everything before me started swimming and my eyelids got heavy, so I closed them. I knew that it was almost over.

'Goodbye, I love you. Thank you,' I gasped.

And then there was nothing