Addict In Black ✔

Chapter Fifty-Five

CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE: COLLAPSE

The power of empathy is essential in helping those who are societies most vulnerable -the addicts.
-Asa Don Brown

It's really common for someone to just completely mentally collapse after they get out of a bad situation into a good one. 

Once they get safe, I mean. 

The ability to do things for yourself instead of terror it's really hard for your brain to process the sudden shift. To do this, many people 'shut off' their emotions and become kind of dull, even empty for a little while. 

It's important not to go back into the bad situation though, just because you felt things there, because you will feel things again it just takes time and processing. 

You don't need to coil in on yourself and protect yourself constantly, you leave your survival mode and process trauma.

 That leaves the brain a little fried for a while. 

That emptiness after terror proves that you're getting better, not worse.

That was one of the first things I learned as an addiction and abuse recovery therapist.

It's how I adapted so quick to patients being mean to me when they first get here and then slowly, not even consciously changing into who they really are -normally, a very nice and tolerant person.

So it continually surprises me when Micah is doing as well as he is, with everything we've gone through, with his family, with mine, with me.

Just because Micah's body never stopped breathing, never stopped pumping his blood, just because he never died...that doesn't mean his soul wasn't barely alive.

Now, though it's not constantly, I see him happy and I know it's not just his body.

He has a lot of really good days.

But of course, like everyone, he still has bad days.

It's not even nine in the morning yet and I can tell it's one of those days because Micah, without stop, stalks in through the library doors, throws his bag on Jem's foot -making him curse. Then he yanks me out of my seat only to pull me in his lap and keep me pinned there all with a snarky scowl.

"Bad day?" I ask him, running a hand through his hair.

Dark eyes narrow at me in a small glare. "Don't do it."

I can't help it, I smile at him -moving my hand down to hold his cheek.

Without wanting to, the broken boy smiles back at me. "Did you have to?" He sinks back in his seat, defeated but not scowling like he wants to kill everyone anymore.

"Of course I did, Babe!" I chirp, winking at him. "I love your smile."

"I love you but shut up." He doesn't snap but this definitely isn't his, 'I'm-in-love' tone.

"I don't want to though, so I'm going to ask, what happened?"

"It's my brother. He pisses me off so fucking much, I get that we grew up in the same house with the same shitty parents but, fuck...AJ," Micah sighs, running a hand through his hair. "I'll tell you at lunch when I'm not so mad anymore, I don't want to lose my temper. Is that alright?"

Nodding, I press my face into the side of his neck and sigh out, this making me more than content.

In a good relationship, someone would hear you out if you're upset with the goal to avoid upsetting you in the future.