unbroken (unexpected series)

Chapter 8

A/N: NOT EDITED.

Chapter 8 – Oakley POV

There was a low buzz, “Pat – Pat I love you okay, don’t think I don’t – I’m sorry I thought – I thought I got away from them Pat, I thought I could have my happily ever after with you, I loved you Pat, you were everything I ever wanted and I didn’t think I would ever get a chance at love. I love you deep in my heart, and my secrets, I kept them to protect you and the kids, don’t forget that, tell them about me, love them, cherish them for the both of us you hear?” the recording, mixed in with three other heartbeats – two even the other racing – mine quicken, sadness overwhelming me as I inhale sharply, getting my bearings.

Scents swarming – blending – with one another, Ben, Aunt Julia, Uncle Grant and mine the strongest but I do smell a trace of a few others. My eyes well up when I remember – when all events catch up to me – we were in the car then we weren’t.

I don’t want to open my eyes, this had to be a dream, I didn’t want to face what was the truth, keeping your eyes closed doesn’t make this any less scary Oakley, it’s okay to be afraid but don’t let it cripple you, be brave, be that girl that just played the recording for everyone, that told everyone how she felt, the voice said. The smallest movement, causes shifting against me, thin arms hold me tighter, opening my eyes I realize Ben is huddled up between the back of the couch and me. Taking a breath I try to untangle myself slowly, not wanting to wake him, or Aunt Julia who is on the opposite end of the sectional. When I finally get to my feet, my legs feel so weak, shaky and my stomach has the sinking – uneasy – feeling.

Swallowing I leave the living room, taking a look around, the stone fire place built into the wall, behind me the kitchen, I know Uncle Grant is listening to the recording so I follow that sound to the stairs, turning the corner and find him sitting at the dining room table. When he hears or feels my approach he looks him, red eyes enhancing sad blue eyes, brows bunched together in what can only be devastation, “Oh Oakley,” he says his voice rough, “Why didn’t you come to me with this?” I tried to read the emotions fleeting across his face, some making sense – overwhelmed, and hurt – while others – shame, and guilt – make no sense.

I saw anger but somehow I knew that it wasn’t against me, my lips shaking I couldn’t – I just couldn’t – I looked away shaking my head, inhaling lethargically, “I – I didn’t – when I – after it happened, I was quiet just listening, then – then when daddy got home I left the space and the recorder there. I closed the space and I don’t know if I just avoided it on purpose but I feel like I knew it was there but to protect my – my mind I just,” I shrug, crying. “When dad brought Sarah and Amelia, I found it again and dad was changing the house with Sarah, throwing things away piece by piece I felt like I was losing mom, her memories, and it was the very last thing I had of her I just couldn’t lose that, so I kept it to myself,” I explained a bit of my self induced isolation melting away, and in doing so grief flooded over me.

The emptiness inside – making me cold – surprised me, overwhelmed and left me in my place feeling defeated, “It’s okay Oak, it’s okay, I’ve got you,” Uncle Grant murmured as his arms wound around me, pulling me to him, centering me the tighter he held me, my heart beating wildly, while his beat calmly, my head on his chest easy to compare the difference.

I couldn’t say anymore, had no words, just emotions I felt too young to bare, sadness that chilled me, hurt that broke me and hate that grew like poisonous weeds inside.