Bomb Tamer's Revival

Kabanata 11

We both followed the two to where they were going. I noticed that Inspector Delfin did not immediately take Dianne home to their house, instead they went to Manila Bay.

"Ops," Jordan said and shook his head. "I think it isn't healthy to take Dianne here. What's on this guy's mind, huh?"

Sumulyap ako kay Jordan. Maybe you're right. Nandito kami sa gilid kung saan tanaw namin ang dalawa. Unti-unti na ring dumidilim ngunit nabuhayan ang lugar na ito sa iba't ibang klase ng magagandang ilaw sa bawat lakakaran maging sa mga rides dito. Nang tignan ko ang gawi nila Dianne, nakita ko na nakatingala na siya sa itaas. Ang buong atensyon niya ay nasa Manila Eye.

"It's not really healthy to take her here. You see..." sabi ni Jordan na medyo nagagalit na nang makita ang malungkot na mukha ni Dianne habang nakatingala sa Manila Eye.

"Maybe Dianne requested to be here," I said and shrugged.

This is where I died. Iyon ang alam ng mga tao. Dito mismo sumabog ang bomba. At doon din mismo sa kinatatayuan nilang dalawa nakita ko noon si Dianne kung papaano bumagsak sa sahig, lumuluha sa sakit. This is where I left her without saying goodbye. This is the place where I make her life miserable. This is where both our hearts were broken.

"Let her..." I told Jordan, almost whispering. Hindi na kaya ang magsalita.

He turned to look at me, brows furrowed. "What? Why? Mas lalo lang nasasaktan si Dianne dahil pinunta niya siya rito," aniya sa akin.

"I know. I know she's trying to let go of me. She's trying to let her feelings for me go. She's trying," I said and nodded. "Please, let her..."

I know she's trying. And my chest hurt. Kumikirot ito lalo sa kadahilang iyon. Nag-iwas ako ng tingin at tumingala na rin sa Manila Eye. This is so fucking hard.

Ang hirap bitawan ni Dianne. Mahal na mahal ko siya, e. She's the only person who made me feel this way. Kapag sa kanya, gusto ko lagi akong nandiyan sa lahat ng ginagawa niya. Kapag sa iba, wala na akong pakealam. Gusto ko lagi akong may parte sa kanya. I want her attention. I want her to love me the way I love her. At noong nasa akin na siya, saka naman nangyari ang mga ito. This made me feel that she doesn't deserve me anymore. That I'm just a pest in her life. See? I ruined her career. I ruined her life. Wala talaga, sobrang hirap.

I smiled bitterly. If she's letting me go now, I'll gladly accept it.

"Let's go, Jordan," I told him.

Nagbaba na ako ng tingin at tumalikod na. Nilingon ko naman si Jordan kung narinig ba ang sinabi ko pero mukha ngang hindi nang makita kong nakapako ang tingin niya. Sinundan ko naman ang tingin niya at doon bumagsak ang balikat ko nang makita sila Dianne at Inspector Delfin.

They're kissing.

I took a swallow. My chest is in intense pain right now. Their kissing scene intensifies my emotions, making me suffer even more. Nahihirapan akong gumalaw sa kinatatayuan ko. Nahihirapan akong huminga. Nahihirapan akong lumunok. Nahihirapan akong isara ang mga mata ko para hindi sila makita.

Even though the outcome was unpleasant, I shook my head and forced a smile. I find it difficult to accept, but I must. I believe I will be happy with it soon if it leads to her liberty and fulfillment. I forced myself to walk away from them at that point after completely turning my back. I'm not going to watch it any longer. It's incredibly painful.

"Anong gusto niyong gawin ngayon?" tanong ni Akhi sa aming dalawa ni Liam.

Akhi is leaning against the wall while holding a glass of wine, and Liam is sitting on the single sofa, watching some news on the television in front of him. Ako naman nakatayo sa harap ng bintana, nakapamulsang nakatingin sa labas, sa mga ilaw mula sa mga nagtatasang gusali.