No Longer Yours (on hiatus)

ch. 4

Kota POV

Two days had passed after we were chased from the hospital. Guilt weighed heavily on me and on my brothers. We were so stupid and we hurt Sang. My Ten. Dr. Robert's words rang in my head. She doesn't want to see us, and I wouldn't blame her. I just hope that she would forgive us once again. I would grovel on my knees and plead for forgiveness. If she doesn't, I will do anything to get her to forgive me, even if I were to quit the Academy.

My front door opened, and everyone except Sean and Mr. B came trudging in. they looked as bad as me. Dark circles and bags hung underneath our eyes. We looked guilty and tired and depressing. I sucked in a breath. "How are you guys doing?"

Victor shrugged before sitting on the sofa and closing his eyes. North grunted as he and Silas sat on the ground. Luke and Gabriel were quiet, so unlike their usual self, and my oldest friend looked haggard. His hair was unkempt and he seemed to be staring into space. I knew that he was probably feeling the worst out of all of us. He was there when we had to tie Sang down who was high on drugs. He had left her when he heard that his father was harassing my mom. It was his father who had assaulted Sang. He was feeling more than us.

The front door opened, and the person who called the meeting stepped through the doorway. I sucked in a breath and straightened, looking at Dr. Roberts. He had been a close mentor and friend, but this incident had fractured our relationship. I saw the look in his eyes. He was still angry at us while also sad.

"Phil?" Sean said tiredly. His green eyes looked at the older man with hope.

All of us held our breath, wishing, hoping that he brought good news. Hoping that Sang, my Ten, would let us see her.

Phil sighed before sitting on the chair that we left empty for him. He looked at all of us before clasping his hands together. "I'm disappointed in all of you. Your actions have been reviewed by the council. We have decided to either put you all back into debt and furthered your graduation or kick you out of the Academy."

Mr. Blackbourne opened his mouth to speak, but Dr. Roberts held up his hand, and he quietened. "But Sang pleaded that that would not happen. So we reviewed the punishment. From now on, all of you will be suspended from missions for a year and will be under supervision for another six months. You will undergo training again during your suspension. At that time, we will review your team."

His blue eyes pierced each of us. "This would not have been your punishment if it wasn't for that lovely girl that all of you have hurt. You should be grateful to her and owe her everything. It was because of her that your team still exists."

Luke whispered. "Is- is Sang okay?"

Dr. Roberts sighed. "I can't say she is. She's hurting both physically and mentally. She'll physically heal but her mind is another thing."

"When will she be coming home?" Silas asked. His eyes darted towards North and Nathan with a worried look. All of us were afraid of how this would impact them.

The doctor reached into his briefcase and brought out an envelope. At that moment, my heart shattered, and tears came to my eyes. My eyes were focused on the letter as he set it on the coffee table between us and himself. He rested his fingers on the letters before withdrawing them and stood up. "She'll answer that herself."

No one stood up to walk him out. All of our attention was on the letter. The plain white envelope seemed so harmless but we all knew that it would crush us. Movement to my left had me looking in that direction. A lump in my throat appeared as I watched Mr. Blackbourne step forward. An expression I had never seen on his face left made this seem unbelievable. There were tears in his eyes and his lips were pressed hard into a thin line. His mask shuddered as he tried to keep his feelings from showing. With a trembling hand, he picked up the letter that had the words "Blackbourne Team" written in Sang's soft cursive.

He opened the letter before unfolding the page. He started to speak.

"Dear Blackbourne Team,

I don't know how to say this through a piece of paper, but I couldn't bear to see you face-to-face. I want to thank you for everything. For helping me when I didn't even know I needed it. You saved me from my step-mother, from Greg, and from Jade. You gave me happiness and joy that I have never experienced before. You became my light and drew me from the darkness that was my life. I gave you my trust.

And my love. I didn't expect to tell you like this, but I truly fell in love with all nine of you. You made me happy and safe.

Kota, you were my backbone. You were my first friend and showed me kindness in a long time. You are intelligent and kind. You are the backbone of the team, and you became mine.

Victor, you were my compassion. You showed me that there is beauty in the world. Don't let anything take the fire or generosity from you. You are more than money or talents.

Silas, you became my strength. You protected me silently and always supported me. You are protective, and do not think that you destroy the things around you. Your jokes gave me laughter.

Nathan, you became my hero. You saved me when I was stuck in the trees. You have so much courage and strength. Don't let what happen defeat you. This is not your fault. You are not your father.

Gabriel, you became my breath of fresh air. You made me and the others shine so much. You are tender-hearted and funny and loud. Don't let what other people think get you down.

Luke, you were my dreams. You showed me that not everything has to be serious. That I could daydream. You showed me what fun could be.

North, you became my foothold. You are bossy and explosive and hard-headed but you are also passionate and protective about those you care for. You gave me the strength to stand for myself against others.

Sean, you were my focused determination. You showed me that I could stand up against you nine when you tried to push my limits. You are a flirt but you are also smart, observant, and soothing.

Owen, you were my doting master. You were the last of the nine I met. You are commanding and observant and resourceful. You were perfect to me.

You nine showed me that the world wasn't what my mom had told me. You gave me everything, and I was willing to put all of myself in your hands.

But you broke it, and everything hurts. You promised to keep me safe from harm. I know that you tried but when I was harmed, you left me vulnerable to another threat. I screamed for you all to appear. I wanted you guys to save me, but you never did.

I don't want to tear you guys more by saying this, but I needed to tell you why I'm doing this. I relied on you nine men too much. I didn't realize it until now that, and I can't live like this anymore. I can't be weak. I don't want to be weak anymore. I'm going to work on getting stronger for myself. But I can't do that when I'm around you. This is good-bye. I'm not expecting to come back, and please, please, do not look for me.

Please, find love. Live life. Forget about me. Push memories of me away. Put it in a dark closet and throw the key away because I don't want you to wait for me.

Trust your family. Don't let this break you apart.

Goodbye, my Fifty-Two, my Prince, my Superman, my Honey, my Meanie, my Always, my North Star, my Dr. Sean, and my Mr. Blackbourne.

~ Sang Sorenson"

I touched my face and looked at my hand. It was wet with tears. I groaned, covering my face with my hands as I cried. I knew that the others were in a similar position, but my mind raced. She had loved us. She had screamed my name but I wasn't able to save her. Now she was gone, and no matter how much counting or wishing I would do, she wouldn't come back. 

Update! Wow, this was such a heavy chapter for me to write. i hope that you guys liked it.