My Future: Chihayafuru

Ch7: Your room

I felt hesitant as I journeyed up the staircase, my heart beating louder with each step. 

Should I actually go into Taichi's room? I personally saw nothing wrong with it, but the first time I tried, he told me I shouldn't go into boys' rooms. The second time, he was the one who invited me to watch a Karuta video. 

I remembered sitting on the edge of his bed, thinking of all the times we spent playing Karuta  when we were younger. Meanwhile, he looked as if he were thinking of something else, his eyes seemed ...bothered and distracted. I couldn't understand why. I remembered asking him what was wrong, to which he replied, "Nothing." I kept asking, and his reply was the same. 

After my persistent questions, he finally had said, "You're in my room." I immediately panicked, unsure why it was wrong. Since Taichi seemed to bring it up, it must have been bad for some reason I didn't understand! That was when his mom burst into the room and scolded him for closing the door.

 I was so curious. What was Taichi thinking? What was wrong? Why was he staring at me so strangely? I never had the chance to ask him. 

That's why I hesitated in this moment. Would he still act strange? I guess I would find out. 

"Hello? Taichi? Are you in there? Can I come in?" I asked. 

"Chihaya?" He called back, "Sure." 

I nudged the door open to find him bent over, stuffing a jacket into a backpack. 

"I'm sorry it's taking me so long. I just needed to finish a few things before we leave." 

"Oh, no worries. Take you time," I intentionally sat at his desk and avoided the bed, since it seemed to bother him last time. He never directly told me that was the issue, but I figured it must have been one of the factors. I guessed he was the type of guy who didn't like to have his covers messed up after making his bed in the morning...much like my sister. 

I examined his organized room. Not much had changed since the last time. Except there was a new photo sitting on the desk. It was a picture of Taichi, Arata, and me as kids. 

I felt warm on the inside and smiled. Such happiness.

"Where did you get this picture?" I asked, tenderly stroking it in my hand. 

He stood to his feet, slung the backpack over his shoulder, and stared into my eyes, "I found it in an old box." 

"We were so young," I smiled, pressing the picture to my heart, "I miss those days." 

"I don't," Taichi muttered. 

I shot him a confused look, "Why? These were some of the best times of my life? Weren't they some of yours too?"

"Not everyone thinks the same way you do, Chihaya. Remember that." 

I peeled the picture away from my chest and placed it back on the desk. It was true. Taichi and I thought so differently.  

"Like the last time I was in your room?" 

His eyes flickered as he quickly blinked, "What?" 

"Last time, we were obliviously having different thoughts. I was thinking of when we were young and used to sit right there, and play Karuta for hours. I would beat you every time. You would get so mad and ask me to let you beat me at least once. Remember?" 

"Of course," He was smiling, but his eyes looked sad at the recollection. 

"What were you thinking?" I asked again. He lowered his head as if recalling his memory. 

He swallowed and suddenly looked nervous, "Why do you suddenly want to know? It's not like you to ask so many questions." 

"Well, because I remembered it. And I realized I never asked you what was wrong that day. You looked bothered or something. You kept staring at me." 

He ran his hand through his hair. 

"We aren't kids anymore, like in that picture. You being in my room now is different than you being in my room when we were young." 

"How is it different? We're both still the same people. If anything, it's better now, because we're more mature." 

He looked at me with concern, "You really don't understand, do you? Well, I'm not going to explain it to you, so don't ask." 

He stole the words right out of my mouth.

"Why not?" I moaned, slouching in the chair. 

He paused as if thinking of a response. 

"Yes, we're more mature. But there are new issues that arise with this maturity." 

"Issues? What issues?" 

"Girls shouldn't be alone in guys' rooms with the door shut," He said, hints of irritation coming through his voice. 

"But you shut the door last time." 

"Yes. I did. And I shouldn't have."

His head drooped lower as if he were hiding his face. 

"Is that why you were actin so weird? Did it have something to do with the door?" I continued. 

"Why did you shut the door?" 

"Because I wanted to," he ended on a high note, which caused me to believe he cut himself off. 

"Wanted to what?" 

"Nothing, Chihaya! That was the end of my sentence." 

"Why did you want to?"

"Let's go now," he secured his backpack and rushed out of the room. I was confused why he seemed flustered. I was just asking him general questions. But he seemed embarrassed and awkward. Regardless, I knew that I shouldn't bring this topic up again, since it bothered him so much. 

I didn't want Taichi to be bothered, since today was supposed to be fun. So, I would just have to settle with never knowing why he acted weird that day or why he shut the door. But that was okay. I had a feeling...and almost a fear... that I would never understand.