Trying to Kill Each Other Doesn't Count as Flirting (or Does it?)

Chapter 6

"(F/N)-chan, over there!"

"Right!"

(F/N) tossed several kunai into the rebel's path, cutting off his escape. This was her primary role when she helped Okita with his Shinsengumi work—throw sharp things at people so they couldn't get away. It was enjoyable enough, she supposed, though she hated the fact that she wasn't allowed to hit anyone.

Suddenly, she felt a presence from behind, and turned around just in time to see a large man take a swing at her. She hurriedly raised a kunai, blocking the blade just in time.

The man drew his sword back, and she recognized exactly what he was doing—it was something she'd seen Okita do it many times in practice. He was preparing to cut off her head.

She ducked. The blade swung over her head, and then she launched herself forward, digging her kunai into his stomach—not a fatal move, but certainly a debilitating one.

He fell to the ground, and it dawned on her. She'd actually managed to take someone down in close combat.

~o0o~

"Did you see that! I took him out! I actually took him out! And it was so easy!"

"Yeah, yeah," Hijikata muttered. "We heard you the first time."

(F/N) scowled at him. She sat in the back of the cop car, staring out the window as Okita steered them around a rocky cliff face. Over the past two months, this had become routine, and she couldn't help but smile at the thought. Maybe, if she wished hard enough, these happy days would never end.

"By the way, Sougo," Hijikata said, pausing to light a cigarette. "I heard something from Kondo-san. He said your sis—"

"(F/N)-chan, formation A."

"Right!"

(F/N) paused a moment to unfasten her seatbelt, and scooted over until she was on the driver's side. Meanwhile, Hijikata looked slightly nervous.

"Um, Sougo, what's formation A—"

Okita turned the wheel, and slammed the passenger's side of the car into the cliff face.

"Sougo!" Hijikata shouted as the metal screamed against the stone. "What the hell—oi, Sougo!"

"You really shouldn't let me drive, Hijikata-san," he deadpanned.

Hijikata let out a growl, and scrambled to unfasten his seatbelt before leaping into the backseat, and landing right on top of (F/N)—a safe zone.

Or so he thought.

"(F/N)-chan," Okita said, guiding them away from the cliff, "formation B."

"Right!"

"Wait—there's more than one?"

But even as (F/N) moved into formation B, she couldn't help but wonder, why had Okita wanted to activate formation A in the first place?

~o0o~

There was no way Okita could let her find out.

That girl was insane, and she lived to mess with him. If she found out about his sister's visit...who knew what would happen?

So he kept her in the dark, tried to kill Hijikata when he was about to mention it, and made sure Mitsuba would arrive on one of his usual days off. With all that planning, there was no way she could possibly find out, right?

When Mitsuba arrived, he was the happiest man on earth. He immediately dragged her away from the Shinsengumi Base, with all its accompanying onlookers, and after sitting down at a restaurant, and getting rid of a few annoying pests, he didn't think things could get any better. Everything was perfect.

"Are you getting three meals a day?" Mitsuba asked as they waited for their lunch. She was so kind...what did he do to deserve a sister like her?

"I am!" he insisted. That was a lie. He often forgot to eat, but he didn't want to worry her.

"And sleep?" she asked. "Are you getting enough sleep, even when you're busy?"

"I am," he answered. "I don't even have enough time to count sheep."

That was not a complete lie. He slept through training, and he counted Hijikata's bodies, not sheep.

"Are you getting along with everyone?" Mitsuba continued. "You're not being bullied, are you?"

He shrugged. "Well, at times, some of the guys are nasty, but I don't give in."

A complete and total lie.

Everything was going fine, until...

"How about friends? Do you have any close friends you can confide in?"

He flinched.

Shit! Friends! I have those, right? I have to have those around somewhere!

He thought for a moment. He sort of got along with the other members of the Shinsengumi, but he doubted that was what she meant. He interacted with Kagura a lot, but Kagura was Kagura, and there was no way in hell she could keep herself from trying to kill him long enough to pretend to be his friend. Gintoki would do anything for a couple of parfaits, maybe he should contact him...but there had to be someone, right? Someone whose friendship wasn't a lie...

'I don't want you to be my bodyguard. I want you to be my friend.'

Wait a minute...did that girl really count? Really? Sure, they'd made that deal, but...

'Yeah, but I'm your friend, aren't I?'

Okay, maybe they were friends, but that girl was crazy. There was no way he could introduce her to Mitsuba. She would absolutely destroy him. Mitsuba would never believe he was a happy, competent, non-worrisome sibling again.

"Sou-chan, are you all right?" Mitsuba's face fell. "Oh, no, you're not having trouble making friends, are you?"

"No!"

Sougo's body moved on it's own. He stood up, slammed his hands on the table, and spewed out every half-lie he could think of.

"I have this one friend—a very good friend! We see each other almost every day! I was actually hoping you could meet her! I'll call her right now! Wait a moment! You'll see!"

Then he raced out of the restaurant, already dialing her number.

Dammit, (F/N), you little shit, you'd better not screw this up.

Author's Note: I absolutely love the Mitsuba arc. I don't think I've ever had my heart so thoroughly ripped out by a work of fiction.

Anyway, I hope you're enjoying this story so far. If you are, please remember to vote. Thanks!

-Marguerite Partello