Secret Red

Chapter 51

Chapter 51

"Al? Hey... what's wrong? Al, say something, Alison..." Layla kept calling Alison who was still staring blankly at her phone, droplet of tears continued to fall onto her phone screen, she could not move, she could not gaze away from the pictures and the news articles from the screen. Zoe quickly snatched her phone away, slowly bringing Alison back from her stupefied state.

"Al... are you alright?" Zoe placed her arms around her shoulder, gently nudging her.

"What a tragedy. Someone's birthday today? Shouldn't it be a happy occasion? Why do you look so sad?" Mia sympathized who was already standing by their table with her two faithful minions.

"What are you talking about, Mia?" Layla stated bitterly.

"Oh, why don't we ask dear Alison here, to explain to you. Hmm?" She explicated.

"You know what, just do us a favor and leave us alone." Zoe spat standing from her seat to stand face to face with the mean girl of the school.

"I just wanted to make sure that our dear friend here won't fall back into her panic attack again knowing that it's such a special day today." Mia rebuffed with cryptic messages only Alison understood.

"Stop sending me these messages." Alison speak up softly.

"Oh, I thought it would help you remember, just in case you've forgotten."

"Just stop!" She screamed gaining everyone's attention to them. She stood up.

"You are so lonely, so empty that you have to hurt others just to make you feel good because there is nothing good in your pathetic life. You pretended to be nice but unfortunately your rotten intention seeped through your own eyes. At the very least Ivy and Amber showed their true self without having the need to pretend or hide. You degrade, demean in any way you can to make yourself feel better. How long does it last, Mia? How long does it make you happy after trying to make me feel miserable? It won't change the fact that you're still empty inside. You'd still go home with that emptiness when you lie in your bed at night. So why don't you try something new. Try and be sincerely nice, try and be grateful. You might actually start to fill up that emptiness within your bleak soul." Alison clenched stating with shaky voice and trembling hands, she then sat back to her seat ignoring the presence of the mean girls who were still standing in awe.

"Stop being a bitch, Mia. People already hate you enough, you don't have to give them more reasons to." Jason spoke up with Shane and Corey joining the table.

"Yeah, stop being a bitch and leave." Zoe added

"You deserve to be miserable after what you did." Mia scoffed and stomped out of the cafeteria with her two loyal pawn. They sat back at the table still not uttering any words, afraid that they might actually shatter her, looking at her fragile expression. Her eyes were filled with tears but she tried to held them back, slowly she stood back up and excused herself.

"I... bathroom. Alone." Alison spoke knowing that Layla and Zoe might follow after her. She just wanted to get through the day, get through high school, get through life and learn to accept that Leah had died.

It was difficult to continue the rest of the day after what happened at the cafeteria so she decided to go home and clear her head before going to work later afternoon.

"Why are you home early, Ally-dear? Something happened?" Her mother asked from the living room.

"Why would you think something had happened? And why are you not at work?" Alison questioned back, slumping herself on the couch beside her mother.

"Day off today. Because I know you. Come and tell me what happened?" She placed down her book and ready to give her full attention and on she rambled about what happened at the cafeteria.

"Oh, that mean girl. She either doesn't get enough love from home or she's just the descendant of Darth Sidious." Mrs. Brooke tried to lighten up the mood.

"And oh yes, it's Leah's birthday today, huh? I miss her too, you know. She's like a daughter to me too. But we can't keep on dwelling on the grieve. We grieve, we move on. That's how it is. Maybe your friends do need to know what happen to help them understand more about you. You do care about them, do you? Because I can see that they're amazing kids who truly care about you, dear."

"I don't think I can do that. What happened to Leah was my fault and I just... I can't... I can't face anyone else knowing what I did. I just can't. I don't want them to hate me like Mia. I don't want to relive that moments again. Those stares from the kids in school... And the whispers from Leah's classmates, I heard them... I don't want to burden them with all of my problems, with all these feelings, with my anxiety. It's mine alone. It's my burden to carry." She shook her head repeatedly.

"Ally, my dear. You need to stop blaming yourself. It wasn't your fault and you need to learn to let it go. These are not your burden, these are part of your past which became a part of you but you need to move on and live your life. You can't live in the past. It will eventually catch up with you like what's happening now. With Mia knowing your past, she misused that information for her selfish threats but your friends... they'll accept you for who you are or they don't. At least you can live being true to yourself instead of hiding. Give them the chance to show that they're more than what you think. You might be surprised."

"I can't face them. Who would want to be associated with me, someone who caused the death of her own friend? They'll either hate me or pity me and I don't want any of them. Even if they knew and accepted me, they'd be tormented just for the mere reason of being associated with me. I can't live with that, not again. I just can't..." She sobbed.

"Alright, alright. Come on, enough with these nonsense thoughts. You need to stop blaming yourself. No one ever think that it was any of your fault so you need to stop thinking that way, my dear." She wrapped her daughter into her embrace. Little did she know that her daughter left out the most important piece of the puzzle that caused the death of Leah, she never spoke a word about it and planned to keep it that way.

Later that evening, Alison decided to go to the lake, she needed to be alone and be lost in her own thoughts hoping that by staring at the vast sky, it could somehow make her problems seemed less significant. She sat on the bench with his carving on it, she gently brushed her hand over his carving which seemed only like a while ago, they were sitting there together when he carved the initials.

"Thought that I'd find you here." The sound of his voice echoed in her ears, did she miss him that much to imagine it? Slowly, she turned to see him physically standing there staring back at her.

"Jason..."