The Hobbit: Battle of the 5 armies (male reader Insert)

Chapter 1: Dale

[first lines; Master of Lake-town and Alfrid are trying to escape with their treasures as Smaug is flying in to attack Lake-town]
Master of Lake-town: I warned you! Did I not warn you what would come of dealing with Dwarves? Now they've done it! They've woken the dragon; they've brought the apocalypse upon our heads! Come on, quickly, quickly! Faster now, I'm trying to evacuate myself here! Careful with that. Never mind the books! Get on, get the rest of it.
Alfrid: But, Sire, should we not try to save the town?
Master of Lake-town: The town is lost, save the gold!
[the people of Lake-town are in a frenzy as Smaug flies down to exact his revenge]
Lake-towner: Pile 'em up!
[Tauriel tries to help Bard's children escape as Smaug is about to attack]
Tauriel: We have no time, we must leave.
[referring to (y/n)]
Fili: Get him up.
[to (y/n)]
Fili: Come on, (y/n). Come on, come on, let's go.
(Y/n): I'm fine, I can walk.
Kili: Alright but if you fall, We're helping you.
[to the children]
Tauriel: As fast as you can.
Bain: We're not leaving, not without our father.
Tauriel: If you stay here, your sisters will die. Is that what your father would want?
[Bard tries to break free from his cell]
Bard: Open this door! Do you hear me!
[back to Bard's house as Tauriel, the four dwarves, (y/n) and Bard's children try to escape]
Bofur: Down here, now!
[they get into the boat]
Oin: Give me your hand.
Bofur: Come on, we gotta go!
Tauriel: Quickly now, hurry!
Fili: Kili, (y/n)come on!
[they all get onto the boat and row off as Smaug flies down and starts attacking the town]
(Y/n): Smaug.
[as they try to get away on their boat]
Master of Lake-town: Come on! Come On! Faster! Faster!
[Smaug continues his reign of terror on the town by breathing fire everywhere he flies]
Master of Lake-town: If only we could take more of these poor people with us. But they're hardly worth it.
Alfrid: I quite agree.
[he kicks a man as he tries to climb onto their boat; referring to the Master's boat as it approaches their path]
Bofur: Look out!
[suddenly the Master's boat hits their smaller one; to his men rowing the boat]
Master of Lake-town: Move it! Move it! Come on! Faster!
[as some of the Master's treasure falls off the boat and into the river]
Master of Lake-town: My gold! My gold!
Alfrid: We carry too much weight. We need to dump something.
Master of Lake-town: Quite right, Alfrid.
[the Master throws Alfrid off the boat but at the same time he gets tangled in some overhanging rope that Bard's using to escape from his cell]
Master of Lake-town: Faster! Faster!
[as Bard pulls the rope suddenly this pushes the Master's weight against the back of his boat which helps break away the prison cell wall and Bard escapes, he finds a bow and some arrows and them climbs onto a roof to try and find a way to kill Smaug]
[from atop the Lonely Mountain, Bilbo and the other dwarves watch Smaug setting Lake-town on fire]
Balin: Poor souls.
[at the same time Bilbo notices Thorin is stood away from them watching the Lonely Mountain instead; we then see Bard climbing onto the bell tower and start shooting his arrows at Smaug]
Bain: Da!
Tilda: Da!
[Bard keeps shooting his arrows at Smaug but it has no effect on the dragon]
Kili: He hit it! He hit the dragon!
Tauriel: No.
Kili: He did, he hit its mark, I saw!
Tauriel: These arrows cannot pierce its hide. I fear nothing will.
[Bain suddenly notices the black arrow; he grabs a hook and swings off the boat]
Bofur: What are you doing?
Fili: Come back! Bain! Come back!
Bofur: Bain!
Fili: Come back here!
Bofur: Bain!
Tauriel: Leave him! We cannot go back.
Tilda: Bain!
[Bard uses his last arrow to hit Smaug which does nothing to the dragon, he watches in despair as Smaug continues to destroy the town when Bain shows up]
Bain: Dad!
Bard: Bain! What are you doing? Why didn't you leave? You were supposed to leave!
Bain: I came to help you.
Bard: No! Nothing can stop it now.
Bain: This might.
[he holds up the black arrow]
Bard: Bain, you go back. You get out of here now.
[as he notices Smaug coming their way]
Bain: Da!
[Smaug takes off the top of the bell tower off as he flies over them making, Bain nearly falls off but manages to hang onto the edge with one hand]
Bard: Bain!
Bain: Da!
[Bard pulls Bain up to safety]
[as Smaug flies over towards him]
Master of Lake-town: Stop, stop! Halt! Halt!
[Bard takes the black arrow from Bain and stands to confront Smaug]
Smaug: Who are you that would stand against me?
[Bard goes to grab his bow but finds that it's broken]
Smaug: Now that is a pity. What will you do now, bowman? You are forsaken. No help will come.
[to his men on the boat]
Master of Lake-town: Now's our chance! Go now! Head to the open water!
[looking at Bain]
Smaug: Hmm. Is that your child? You cannot save him from the fire. He will burn!
[Bard aims the black arrow while balancing it on Bain's shoulder]
Bard: Stay still, son. Stay still.
Smaug: Tell me, wretch, how now shall you challenge me?
[Bard smiles to himself as he notices Smaug's heart]
Smaug: You have nothing left but your death!
[Smaug roars as he starts making his way towards them]
Bard: Bain. Look at me. You look at me. A little to your left.
[Bain moves slightly]
Bard: That's it.
[as Smaug flies toward them Bard shoots the arrow and it strikes the dragon's heart, causing him to scream in pain and crash into the bell tower]
Bard: Bain! Hold on!
[Smaug yells in pain as the light leaves his body, as he plummets to the ground he lands straight on top of the Master's boat crushing him and his gold]
[back on the Lonely Mountain, the dwarves hear the crash of Smaug's body into the river]
Ori: Wh...what was that? What happened?
Bilbo Baggins: It fell, I saw it. It's dead.
[he looks back at the dwarves]
Bilbo Baggins: Smaug is dead.
Gloin: By my beard, I think he's right!
[referring to the birds flying towards the mountain]
Gloin: Look there! The Ravens of Erebor are returning to the Mountain.
Balin: Aye, word will spread. Before long, every soul in Middle Earth will know the Dragon is dead!
[the dwarves rejoice, but Thorin heads off to enter the Lonely Mountain again]
[in Dol Guldur, Gandalf is still caged after learning that the Necromancer was Sauron, he starts hearing Galadriel's voice]
Galadriel: You are not alone, Mithrandir.
[the Lake-town survivors swim ashore from the river]
Lake-towner: Will somebody help me! Don't let me go.
[as he pulls himself out of the water]
Alfrid: Help!
[Sigrid and Tilda, who are with Tauriel, call out for Bard]
Sigrid: Da!
Tilda: Da!
Sigrid: Da!
[crying out in despair]
Alfrid: Ahh! Why me?
[as the rest of the dwarves get the boat ready to rejoin their Company on the Lonely Mountain,(y/n) goes over to Tauriel]
(Y/n): Tauriel.
Fili: (y/n), come on. We're leaving.
Kili: Yeah (y/n) let's go.
Tauriel: They are your Friends, you must go.
[Tauriel starts to walk off]
(Y/n): Come with me. I know how I feel, I'm not afraid. You make me feel alive.
Tauriel: No, I can't.
[Tauriel turns but (y/n) stops her]
(Y/n): Tauriel. Amrâlimê.
[Tauriel looks at (y/n) with surprise]
Tauriel: I don't know what that means.
(Y/n): I think you do.
[as Tauriel goes to respond she senses Legolas behind her]
Tauriel: [subtitled] My Lord Legolas.
Legolas: [subtitled] Take your leave of the Man. You are needed elsewhere.
[(y/n)and Tauriel give each other a longing look before he reluctantly turns to leave, suddenly he stops and turns back to Tauriel, he hands her the Dagger that he showed her when they first met]
(Y/n): [Subtitle]:Keep it, as a promise.
[Tauriel begins to cry as she watches (y/n) join the dwarves and they set off on their boat]
[a Lake-town woman helps the surviving people of Lake-town]
Lake-town Woman: These are dry. You'll need them.
Lake-town Refugee: Thank you.
[Alfrid pushes his way through]
Alfrid: Oi! Give me one of them. I'll take my death in this cold!
Lake-town Woman: Oh, find your own! You're not in charge now, Alfrid Lickspittle.
Alfrid: That is where you are wrong. In the absence of the Master the powers seethes to his deputy, which in this instance is my good self. Now give me that blanket!
[he grabs the end of the blanket and tries to take it from the woman]
Lake-town Woman: Master's Deputy? Don't make me laugh. You're a sneak thief, more like. I'll be dead before I answer to the likes of you.
Alfrid: Maybe that can be arranged.
[as Alfrid goes to strike the woman he's stopped by Bard]
Bard: I wouldn't go turning on your own, Alfrid. Not now.
[Bard spins Alfrid round and Bain trips him up causing him to fall on his back]
[Tilda and Sigrid notice Bard]
Tilda: Da!
Bard: Come here.
[Tilda runs into Bard's arms and he picks her up as he embraces her]
Sigrid: You're alive!
[Sigrid goes over to Bard who puts his arm around her as he holds Tilda]
Bard: It's alright.
[the surviving people of Lake-town watch their reunion]
Lake-town Man: It was Bard! He killed the dragon! I saw it with me own eyes. He brought the beast down. Struck him dead with a Black Arrow!
[the crowd cheers and gathers around Bard]
Lake-towner: You've saved us all, bless you.
[Alfrid takes this opportunity and holds Bard's arm up to address the crowd]
Alfrid: All hail to the Dragon-slayer! All hail King Bard!
[Bard pulls his arm out of Alfrid's grasp in anger but Alfrid continues]
Alfrid: I have said it many times, this is a man of noble stock. A born leader.
Bard: Do not call me that. I'm not the Master of this town.
Bard: Where is he? Where's the master?
Lake-town Woman: Half way down the Anduin, with all our coin, I don't doubt.
[pointing to Alfrid]
Lake-town Woman: You would know. You helped him empty the treasury.
Alfrid: No. I tried to stop him.
Lake-towner #1: Liar!
Lake-towner #2: Thief!
Lake-towner #3: You're a mongrel!
Alfrid: I begged, I pleaded
Lake-towner #4: Do away with him!
Alfrid: I said: "Master, no!"
[the crowd gets angrier]
Alfrid: Think of the children.
[he grabs Tilda and pulls her in front of him]
Alfrid: Will nobody think of the children?
[Tilda kicks him in the shins]
Lake-towner #1: Hang him!
Lake-towner #5: To the tree with him!
[the crowd grabs hold of Alfrid]
Bard: Enough, Let him go! Let him go!
[they drop Alfrid to the ground]
Bard: Look around you! Have you not had your fill of death?
[Alfrid gets up and puts his arm on Bard's shoulder in agreement but Bard pushes him back to the ground]
Bard: Winter is upon us. We must look to our own, to the sick and the helpless. Those who can stand, tend to the wounded, and those who have strength left, follow me. We must salvage what we can.
Lake-town Woman: And what then? What do we do then?
Bard: We find shelter.
[Kili, Fili, (y/n),Bofur and Oin make it to the Lonely Mountain to rejoin the rest of the Company but find it in ruins and deserted]
Bofur: Hello! Bombur? Bifur? Anybody?
[they run inside to look for the others when Bilbo finds them]
Bilbo Baggins: Wait! Wait!
Bofur: It's Bilbo. He's alive!
Bilbo Baggins: Stop! Stop! Stop! You need to leave. We all need to leave.
Bofur: We only just got here.
Bilbo Baggins: I tried talking to him, but he won't listen.
Oin: Wh...what do you mean, laddie?
Bilbo Baggins: Thorin! Thorin. Thorin, he's been down there for days. He doesn't sleep, he barely eats. He's not been himself, not at all. It's this...it's this place. I think a sickness lies upon it.
Kili: A sickness? What kind of sickness?
(Y/n): *realizes what hes talking about* Thorin.......oh no
[Fili notices the gold and goes down to take a closer look]
Bilbo Baggins: Fili? Fili!
[the others follow after him and stare in shock at the sea of gold and Thorin walking around in it]
Thorin: Gold. Gold beyond measure, beyond sorrow and grieve.
[he notices Bilbo, (y/n),Kili, Fili, Bofur and Oin watching him]
Thorin: Behold, the great treasure hoard of Thrór.
[he throws a piece of treasure at Fili who catches it]
Thorin: Welcome, my sister's sons, to the Kingdom of Erebor.
[as they rejoin the rest of the Company]
Bofur: Balin!
Dwalin: Bofur!
Bifur: Kili!
Kili: Bifur!
[they all start embracing each other]
Bofur: Bombur!
Bombur: You're alive!
(Y/n): *smirks*
[later the dwarves and (y/n) help Thorin search for the Arkenstone]
Thorin: Any sign of it?
Bifur: Nothing here.
Ori: Nothing here.
Thorin: Keep searching!
Dwalin: That jewel could be anywhere.
Thorin: The Arkenstone is in these halls. Find it!
Dwalin: You heard him, keep looking.
Thorin: All of you! No one rests until it is found!
[as the others search for the Arkenstone Bilbo walks away and sits in a corner by himself, he recalls Smaug's words to him during their encounter]
Smaug: I am almost tempted to let you take it, if only to see Oakenshield suffer. Watch it destroy him. Watch it corrupt his heart and drive him mad.
[we see in flashback as Smaug goes to kill Bilbo he quickly puts on the ring to disappear and takes the Arkenstone; back to Bilbo sitting alone, he takes out the Arkenstone from his pocket and looks at wondering what to do with it]
[the surviving people of Lake-town gather the supplies they have left]
Bard: Take only what you need, we have a long march ahead.
Legolas: Where will you go?
Bard: There is only one place.
[he looks over to the Lonely Mountain]
Alfrid: The Mountain? You are a genius, Sire. We can take refuge inside the Mountain. It might smell a bit of dragon, but the women could clean that up. It's be safe and warm and dry, and full of stores, bedding and clothing, the odd bit of gold.
Bard: What gold is in that Mountain is cursed. We will take only what was promised to us, only what we need to rebuild our lives.
[he hands some wood to Alfrid to carry, Alfrid sees an old woman walk by]
Alfrid: Here, pull your weight.
[he drops the wood into her arms]
Legolas: News of the death of Smaug will have spread through the lands.
Bard: Aye.
Legolas: Others will now look to the Mountain for its wealth or its position.
Bard: What is it you know?
Legolas: Nothing for certain. It's what I fear may come.
[the Orcs, led by Azog, are marching toward Erebor when Bolg arrives]
Bolg: [subtitled] Woodland Elves! The King's son and a She-elf, they tracked us to Lake-town.
Azog: [subtitled] And you killed them?
Bolg: [subtitled] They fled, squealing like cowards.
Azog: [subtitled] You fool! They will return with an Army of Elves at their backs! Ride to Gundabad. Let the Legions come forth.
[Bolg rides off; Azog addresses his army]
Azog: [subtitled] Elves! Men! Dwarves! The Mountain will be their tomb! To war!
[they start marching off]
[as the people of Lake-town are preparing to leave for Lake-town]
Tauriel: You saw something out there?
Legolas: The Orc I pursued out of Lake-town, I know who he is. Bolg, the spawn of Azog the Defiler. A Wargpack was waiting for him on the outskirts of Esgorath. They fled into the north. These Orcs were different from the others, they bore a mark I had not seen for a long time. The mark of Gundabad.
Tauriel: Gundabad?
Legolas: An Orc stronghold in the far north of the Misty Mountains.
[they are interrupted by an Elf arriving on horseback]
Feren: [subtitled] My Lord Legolas. I bring word from your Father. You are to return to him immediately.
Legolas: [subtitled] Come, Tauriel.
Feren: [subtitled] My Lord...Tauriel is banished.
Legolas: [subtitled] Banished?
Legolas: You may tell my father if there is no place for Tauriel, there is no place for me.
Tauriel: Legolas, it is your King's command.
Legolas: [subtitled] Yes, he is my King, but he does not command my heart.
[in English]
Legolas: I ride north. Will you come with me?
Tauriel: To where?
Legolas: To Gundabad.
[Legolas and Tauriel ride off]
[in Dol Guldur, Gandalf, still in his cage, is chanting a spell at the same time as Radagast when an Orc comes towards him]
Keeper of the Dungeons: [subtitled] Spells will not save you, old man.
[at the same time Galadriel turns up and starts walking towards them as the Orc throws Gandalf's cage aside]
Keeper of the Dungeons: [subtitled] This is my master's domain. Die now, Wizard!
[he picks up Gandalf and throws him down to the ground, he notices Galadriel and turns to face her when she suddenly uses her power to vanquish him, she picks up a wounded Gandalf and starts walking off with him when the Necromancer speaks]
Necromancer: [subtitled] Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky. Seven for the Dwarv-lords in their halls of stone.
Galadriel: Nine for mortal men doomed to die.
[the Nazgul then show up and surround Galadriel]
Necromancer: [subtitled] You cannot fight the shadow. Even now you fade. One light alone in the darkness.
Galadriel: I am not alone.
[just then Elrond and Saruman show up]
Saruman: Are you in need of assistance, My Lady?
[the Nazgul get ready to attack]
Elrond: You should have stayed dead!
[Elrond and Saruman start fighting with the Nazgul]
[Galadriel looks down and the unconscious Gandalf lying in her arms]
Galadriel: Mithrandir, come back.
[she kisses his forehead and Gandalf becomes conscious]
Gandalf: He...he is here.
Galadriel: Yes. The darkness has returned.
[as Saruman and Elrond continue to fight the Nazgul Radagast arrives in his sleigh]
Radagast: Gandalf! Gandalf, climb on!
Galadriel: He is weak. He cannot remain here, it is straining his life.
[Gandalf gets onto Radagast's sleigh]
Galadriel: Go, quickly!
[Gandalf grabs Galadriel's hand]
Gandalf: Come with me, My Lady.
[she looks at him for a moment but then pulls her hand away and looks at Radagast]
Galadriel: Go!
[Radagast takes off in his sleigh with Gandalf]
[Elrond and Saruman finally defeat the Nazgul when the Necromancer appears before them]
Necromancer: [subtitled] It has begun. The East will fall. So shall the Kingdom of Angmar rise. The time of the Elves is over. The Age of the Orc has come.
[Galadriel rises and start to overpower the Necromancer]
Galadriel: You have no power here, servant of Mordor. You are nameless, faceless, formless! Go back to the void from whence you came!
[she casts him out and falls in a weakened state]
Elrond: [subtitled] We were deceived.
Galadriel: The spirit of Sauron endured.
Saruman: And has been banished.
Galadriel: He will flee into the East.
Elrond: Gondor should be warned. They must set a watch on the walls of Mordor.
Saruman: No. Look after the Lady Galadriel. She has spent much of her powers, her strength is failing. Take her to Lothlórien.
Elrond: My Lord Saruman, he must be hunted down and destroyed, once and for all.
Saruman: Without the Ring of Power, Sauron can never again hold dominion over Middle Earth. Go now. Leave Sauron to me.
[Radagast stops his sleigh outside his house]
Gandalf: I need a horse.
Radagast: What? Gandalf, where are you going?
Gandalf: To warn Erebor. They have no idea what is coming. I saw them with my own eyes. Rank upon rank of Moria Orcs. You must summon our friends, bird and beast. The battle for the Mountain is about to begin.
[back inside the Lonely Mountain]
Thorin: It is here in these halls, I know it.
Dwalin: We have searched and searched.
Thorin: Not well enough.
Dwalin: Thorin, we all would see the stone returned.