The Vampire Diaries Reviews💋

The A Team

Review#3

Written by EmilyGraceHilton1234
Reviewed by dallas1213
Aka Katherine.

Prologue.
The prologue chapter was very hooking and the plot was spot on.

Chapter one.
I loved it, but when Oliver was crying and said he didn't have a mom my heart went out to him. And the same with Jemma when she said she didn't have a dad.

Side note.
I connected with the story within the prologue and the first chapter and let me tell you, it normally takes the first five chapters to get me hooked on a story, let alone connected. So you did a very good job with the plot.

Also I love it when the main two characters meet at a young age:) and I love how Oliver and Jemma are bestfriends. I just love how they act towards one another.

And once again I will congratulate you on your plot, you see I love a good plot and when I read stories I want to feel or relate somehow to the characters and when a writer has a good plot, such as you do. It makes the reader feel that connection that they are looking for❤

Literally this story makes me wish I had a boy friend when I was a little girl, like Jemma:)

And I love how Jemma is telling the story but yet when I read it, it feels as if she is still living in that memory. And the bond between Oliver and Jemma is truly something I wish I had❤

Chapter three:
It broke and breaks my heat that Oliver wouldn't go to the dance with Jemma and the way Oliver said "Do you even own a dress?" That was indeed mean.

Ps:
Good job with the plot, your really making me feel what Jemma is going through:)

Now the only thing I will say about chapter three that I didn't like was, the part where you said Christians think their better than the people who don't belive in God. And that's not true, us Christians, I being a Christian as well know for a fact that we don't think we're better than other people who don't follow God, we try and teach them about God and the bible. And yes I know there are some groups out there that say they are Christians and do things such as think they are better than everyone else. But I promise you that not all of us Christians are like that.

Chapter eight:
I liked how Oliver's friend Landon tired to get Oliver to change his ways:)

Chapter nine:
Skylar is so nice and sweet to Jemma❤

Chapter Ten.
In my personal opinion I feel like when Ed was telling Jemma about how good her voice is. I don't know it felt too cliche for my taste.

(But that is just my personal opinion and your book is still amazing❤)

Chapter twelve:
When Oliver called Jemma 'my goddess' my heart melted at how clear it is that Oliver loves Jemma and the note he wrote was so sweet of him:)

Chapter Thirteen:
I LOVE how Jemma and Blayke met and just Blayke's personality❤

Note:
Chapter thirteen is by far my favorite chapter so far:)

Chapter fourteen:
I feel like Will and Skylar are just using Jemma and I don't care who Will is! He had no right to slap Jemma! That was a d*ck move of him and when Skylar said 'Grow up' to Jemma after Will had slapped her. That was a very low and mean thing to say! And Skylar should have stepped in when Will slapped Jemma! It just goes to show Will and Skylar's true colors!

Chapter fifteen:
I'm sorry to say this but I am on team Blayke and Jemma, instead of team Jemma and Oliver.

Ps: The winter wonderland date was sooo cute!:)

Chapter sixteen.
Forget everything I said about Blayke he is a total Jerk!!!!!

(Ps very good with the plot, you are really making me feel things:)

Chapter seventeen:
It was so nice of Jemma not only to bail Oliver out of jail but also to let him live with her❤

Note:
Also in chapter seventeen you have a sentence that doesn't need the two apostrophe comma in it. Ok so the sentence is "At least you're honest, Oliver." I have the next two weeks off stay here if you want, leave if you don't. We're both f**ked up, so I guess it wouldn't hurt if we were f**ked up together."

You see the promble? The problem is that you don't need the two apostrophe comma's in them when your character is still talking. So I'll show you how it should be, "At least you're honest, Oliver. I have the next two weeks off stay here if you want, leave if you don't. We're both f**ked up, so I guess it wouldn't hurt if we were f**ked up together."

See?

But other than that small mistake, your grammar is spot on❤

Chapter Twenty:
I feel really bad for Oliver:(
And that was really brave of Jemma to show her scars to Oliver❤

Ps:
I love the nickname Ollie:)

Cover: 8/10
Plot: 14/15
Grammar: 10/10
Spelling: 10/10
Personal enjoyment: 10/10

Ok so the only thing that really needs to be improved in your book is details, I feel like in some of the scenes you don't had enough detail to actually give the reader a picture of the scene. But that is just my personal opinion and I still think your story is wonderful and I am so happy that you let me review it:)

Have a wonderful day/night❤✨

-Katherine.