The Side Piece |18+|

I said NO

"Do you need a ride to the airport in the morning?" 

"No, I'm okay. Thanks though" 

"Alright, good night" I answered as I rolled over and faced the wall. I was so excited to spend the week at Hoseok's house I felt like I wouldn't be able to sleep. When Mark rolled towards me and wrapped his arm around me my eyes widened. 

"Good night" he kissed my temple and held me tight. I suddenly felt like I was drowning. I wanted to yell and scream and push him off of me. He didn't want anything to do with me, now he's holding onto me like I suddenly matter again? 

"Can you please give me some space?" I asked softly trying not to yell 

"What's wrong love?" He asked as he backed up 

"I'm just sore and tired is all, work has been kicking my ass and I feel like I can't relax" 

"You should let me take care of you then" he caressed my hip through my shirt "don't you miss me?"

No. 
I did. 
Never again though. 

"Of course I do, I practically begged you to pay attention to me" I rolled my eyes "but that was before work started to wear me down"  

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

File for divorce and fucking leave 

"No, I'll be okay"  

"I'm sorry I've been so distant my love, I wasn't expecting work to be so busy, and I definitely wasn't expecting them to send me out in the field" he said sadly 

This man deserves a fucking oscar. 
Five star performance. 

"If I had known, I would have paid more attention to you and made love to you like we used to. I wish work wasn't as hectic as it has been these last few months" he traced my thigh with his finger tips making me nauseous, he kissed my cheek as his hand lifted my shirt  

"Please stop" I whispered 

"Why baby? I'm leaving for a week..its been months..shouldn't we take advantage of tonight?" 

My body was frozen as my heart pounded out of my chest. The thought of him touching me was making me feel ill. 
He kissed up my neck as he cupped my breast in his hand

"Mark, stop" I said sternly as I stood up "I said no. I told you I was tired and sore. I'm sorry that you're leaving for a week and that I don't feel like 'taking advantage' of tonight but I said stop. Jesus fucking christ I am so tired of you just doing whatever the fuck you want" I grabbed my pillow and my phone "I'm sleeping on the couch. Have a safe trip" I slammed the bedroom door behind me 

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" He asked as he swung open the door and followed me down the stairs 

"It means that I'm tired and I just want to go to sleep" 

"There's way more to it than that Alyssa, I know you better than that" 

"It's nothing. Just let me fucking sleep" I laid down on the sofa 

"What is your problem? You fucking begged me to pay more attention to you and now that you have it you don't want it?" 

"Good night Mark" 

"No. You're going to tell me what is bothering you" 

"I SAID GOOD NIGHT" 

I am an angry cryer. When I get pissed off I cry like a baby until I can't breathe anymore. I started sobbing into my pillow and Mark sat down next to me. I didn't want to let it slip that I knew about Tina, that I knew about his business trip, and especially not about Hoseok. I needed to keep all of it hidden so that I could get the divorce over and done with in my favor. 

"Baby..talk to me. We never fight like this. What happened?" He said softly 

"I don't feel good, I'm just mentally and physically exhausted" 

"I'm sorry, I feel like I'm adding to your stress" 

"You are. Honestly. And months ago, I reached out for you to help me and you didn't. You haven't contributed to the house, you don't clean, you don't cook, you don't kiss me, we haven't had any physical contact in months, but I'm supposed to just smile through it right? I'm supposed to keep doing what I've been doing for you for the last twelve fucking years, and get nothing in return. I'm tired Mark" I sobbed "I'm so fucking tired" 

"I'm sorry" he started to cry "I didn't realize it was this bad.. I didn't think I was hurting you this much..I thought.." he shook his head "I'm sorry Alyssa" 

"Your flight leaves in a few hours. If I were you, I'd get some sleep" I wiped my eyes and laid there silently while he sniffled 

"Okay" he whispered as he stood up off the couch, he leaned down and kissed my forehead "I do love you. You know that right?" 

Just not enough. 

"Yeah" I mumbled as I internally rolled my eyes 

Just not enough. 

I wish I could pinpoint the exact moment we started to fall apart. 
But would it really matter? 
What's done is done. There is no fixing this because I don't want to fix it anymore. I want it to end and I want to move on and be happy. 

When I woke up the next morning there was a note on the coffee table 

I love you. I'm so sorry for everything, we'll talk when I come home okay? 
XoXo 

As gross as it sounds, I spit a wad of mucus onto the paper and threw it into the trash can. 

Even with me crying and letting out some of my pent up frustrations, he still couldn't come clean. He still couldn't tell the truth. He still wanted to keep up the facade. 

If there was even the tiniest little bit of love left for me in his heart...he would've confessed. To any of it. Even if he only confessed to the fact that he had left his job and had been out of work. Or told me he wasn't in love with me anymore...anything. 
But no. 

He lied the entire time and pretended to be upset with himself and at our situation. 

It only made me hate him even more.