Cut Yourself Free

Frame Of Mind

Max awoke with a startled yell as her face was doused with water. "Oops." said Wrench, who received a punch in the arm from Sitara.

"You okay?" asked Marcus, who sat her up. Max nodded, hugging herself slightly.

"Max, what's going on?" asked Sitara, placing an arm around her for comfort. Max's lip trembled as she looked up at Sitara.

"I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry. I didn't want him to come back into my life." She bit down on her lip and covered her face, her body trembling with every breath she took as tears streamed down her face. Sitara looked at the males and motioned them to leave, and they obliged. Josh lingered for a moment.

"It's okay, hun. It's okay." Sitara hugged her tightly and patted her back, moving her to the couch. "Just tell me what happened." Max sniffed and wiped away some of her tears, her makeup smudging. She was hesitant to open up. It had been so long since she'd told anyone about the incident. But she trusted Sitara, so she told her.

-----

When I was 18, I was raped by my best friends Pete and Joseph.

It was on the day I graduated high school. Aiden attended as my guardian, and I remember he gave me my own Foxhead mask that I wear to this day. He said he was really proud I got my life on track, and I told him how much I appreciated him being there for me. It was the only good thing about that day.

Aiden unfortunately left, attending to business like usual, leaving me with Pete and Joseph. At the time, I was blind to the idea that they'd do anything bad to me because I trusted them. I had known them for years. The truth was that they'd been planning it since the two of them met. They hated each other, and yet, the two of them were getting along that night. I didn't find it suspicious. My first mistake.

"Wow, it's a nice night, huh?" said Pete, a happy smile on his face as Joseph stared down at me with his usual, uninterested expression. "Have any plans for tonight, Max?"

"No," I said casually, clearing my throat to make my voice sound higher pitched. "I think I'm just gonna hang out by myself."

"By yourself? Why not with us?" He nudged my shoulder, a sly smile on his face. I nudged him back as a joke.

"I think I'm good. I'm a little exhausted from the ceremony. Anyways, see you guys!" As I tried to leave, Joseph grabbed my arm tightly.

"Max, come on, let's hang out." he pressured, his eyes boring into my skull as his grip on my arm began to hurt more and more.

"S-seriously, guys, I'm good." I said nervously as Joseph leaned next to my ear.

"Don't you want to feel like a REAL girl?" he whispered, causing me to shake from his grip aggressively. Without another word or a glance back, I left. I didn't see the advances they were making as anything serious. I thought it was some sick joke. They were known for that. But, looking back on it, it felt like they were conditioning me, making those things normal... So that I wouldn't be prepared for when they finally took things too far.

I was so fucking stupid. Why didn't I see it?

No, no, it wasn't my fault. It wasn't.

I immediately went back to my apartment, blocking out what those two asked me at the ceremony. I didn't want to worry about anything that night. I just wanted to relax and have fun by myself now that I was finally out of High School. As a way to enjoy myself, I decided to try the alcohol in Aiden's liquor cabinet. Looking back on it, it was such a stupid idea. But I went with it. I drank his alcohol and got drunk.