What If...

Chapter 12: Patterns and Jealousy

Rey's POV

What did I do? What did I do wrong to make Ben this way? Flirting with a practical Twi'lek?! Seriously?! And a young and pretty one at that.

I suppose that's why I had gone with the chief instead of waiting for Ben. Wait, I was trying to make him jealous? I'd never even considered that a possibility. I always thought we'd be crystal solid, as certain as our own existence.

Ugh, sometimes I wish we were still in war so I wouldn't have to think like that. No, I take that back. War was much worse than this.

And, sure, the chief was handsome. Relatively young; not much older than Ben, maybe by a year or so. His scales were orange and he gave a soft glow, like Oliah, but hers was brighter. He was tall, about a head taller than myself, and muscular. In a toned way, not bulging.

I looked around my quarters, wondering where Ben was. Wondering how the Mosiana magic was able to let me stay dry and be able to walk and breathe. Staring at the coral that covered a considerable chunk of the walls here. Rough and brightly colored. Even that had a slight glow. It made me think of Oliah and that changed my thoughts to Ben yet again.

Earlier, I'd shut him out. I didn't want him to know how I was feeling. Now all I wanted to do was find out where I'd gone wrong.

I skimmed the dyad. Our roles had apparently been switched, because this time, he was the one blocking me from his mind. I pressed harder, closing my eyes and concentrating. I saw a bright flash, and I was cast out of his head.

Maybe I should've been hurt or offended, but I was just confused. I took comfort in sitting on the bed provided and stroking the silken sheets. I had a feeling I'd never feel right here.

Of course you won't feel right here, I thought to myself. You're literally a different species. In an environment you're not meant to be in with a lightsaber in a peaceful city. Why would you belong?

I told myself to shut up. I just wanted to get the stupid crystal and leave. Was that so hard?

..........

Apparently it was that hard. As Oliah and Karmess had told us, the cave entrances shifted everyday. We started looking for patterns.

Ben and I never spoke, save in front of the Mosianans, who I'd found out were, in fact, a type of Twi'lek. Wow. Shocker. Never saw that coming especially since they look soo different.

Please excuse my sarcasm. I was quite upset with Ben, who continued to shut me out.

I had decided to give him time. Growing up on my own on Jakku, always waiting for my parents had made me patient.

A friend I'd made, Syllia, gave me a holomap of the caves so I could mark the entrances everyday, to look for patterns. I made the first marking on our second day there.

The caves from the top looked like a misshapen compass rose with skinny, sharp spokes. As far as I could tell, the tunnels were very complicated and very dangerous. Of course they were. It wouldn't be any fun if they weren't dangerous.

My first marking was on the tip of the Southwest spoke. I got excited to make these everyday because it meant something to do to keep me busy, even for a short amount of time.

The second marking on the third day was in between the South and Southwest spoke. I felt a glimmer of hope. This meant progress.

"Do you really think there could be a pattern?" Syllia asked me on my third day. She spoke normally when it was just us and sang in front of the other Mosianans. ("The ones who don't sing all the time are considered failures and disgraces. They're shunned, so keep this between us, would you?" She'd asked.)