Amnesia

Act XIII: Little Doll

I was aware that I was following Anne, but I didn't know where. Her aura drew me to her, and when she walked away with the whisk of her cloak, I couldn't help but follow. She was silent, and didn't respond to my questions. My mind was reeling with thoughts of her. How was she here? I recalled her name from before, when the cat had lied about my name, but I didn't think the real Anne was here.

"I know you have questions," She said coldly while stepping over an extended root. "But you will have to wait until we get where we need to be."

"Where is that exactly?"

She didn't respond, continuing on her way through the woods. "So much fuss," She said to herself.

I kept my eyes trailing the back of her heels, hoping she would fall. Her legs climbed over dead trees and kicked out old bushes. I looked up at her head, following the black wavy locks she released from the hood. I had to remind myself that I had blonde hair. My arms reached out towards her, wanting to rip the hair from her head for not being like mine.

She stopped dead in her tracks. "Don't touch me," she warned, her voice toxic. My hands retreated to my sides. She began to pick up the pace, and I followed.

The overwhelming desire to grip her hair seemed to overpower me. Before my brain could protest, my hands thrust out before me and grabbed her entire head of hair. It felt soft, almost artificial. I tugged on it, and winced backwards and I heard her yelp. My eyes closed in response, preparing for her to hit me.

I opened my eyes to the real world, for a moment. But not the real real world. A memory.

I was sitting on the side of my bed, playing with my doll's hair. My head tilted from side to side, wondering which angle looked the best on her. I recognized my surroundings, but I couldn't move my head to inspect them because I was trapped in my own body. 

It was my house before the fire. It was dark inside and the windows had been boarded up, for the sake of my father's sanity. He liked to stay in the darkness, and darkness throughout the house allowed him mobility.

I heard him in the distance  crying, but there was something different about his cries. Along with them, there were the sounds of glasses shattering and furniture being slammed against the wall. Anger must be mixed with his sadness, but I understood and played on, finally finishing the braid. I turned her around to admire her face. I peered into her lifeless blue eyes, and the way she looked like me. Her skin made of porcelain, I caressed her rosy cheeks and snow white forehead. I forced a smile, and placed her on the doll bed next to mine.

My fingertips graced the painted wood of the bed, remembering how hard my father had worked on piecing it together, even though he likes to tell me it was handed down to us, discrediting himself.

Small letters stood out from the headboard, spelling out the little doll's name, "ANNE". My aware conscious noted the connection, but my exterior expression showed no change.  I tucked her into bed and kissed her forehead before being startled by a loud noise approaching my door frame.

I came back to Wonderland with Anne hunched over me. My back arched on the ground,  and she had been trying to wake me by hitting me in the face over and over. My hands found my sore cheeks and I rubbed them to try to soothe the stinging. Anne stopped and kicked her legs over so that she was sitting beside me. 

"What just happened to you?" She asked breathlessly, grabbing her thighs.

I looked up at the sun approaching the horizon lovingly, forgetting to answer her. 

"What did you see?" Her voice rose, breaking off into the woods and reverberating between the trees. She took me by the shoulders and sat me upright. Her eyes narrowed as she peered into mine, trying to decode my thoughts.

My thoughts are in the safety of my mind, I reminded myself.

"Nothing,"  I said with a smile as I pushed myself off the ground. I started to jump up and down, realizing I had a secret that no one else knew. Should I keep it to myself? Don't be selfish, Alice. "Except that I know who you are."

Anne's eyes widened as a breeze blew through the forest, pushing stray strands of obsidian hair away from her face. "You do?"

"You are my favorite little doll as a child." I mimicked her wide eyes in excitement. I reached my arms out to hug her, but she instead turned away.

"Interesting," she mumbled and continued walking as I faithfully followed the one thing I knew I could trust from the outside world.