Answers Of My Heart (completed)

Chapter twenty-six

Chapter twenty-six

Dear diary,

Have you ever been through so much pain that one day you curl yourself in a ball and close your eyes? What about not being able to find the words to describe such a feeling? For these past few weeks so many thoughts have been running through my mind. I gain so many head aches from crying myself to sleep. I came to the point were I'm am scared to love again. I'm scared I will hurt someone due to my past of being hurt constantly. I don't think getting hugs and people just telling me it will be okay is going to change anything. The way Jake and I ended was completely stupid. I wanted things to work better I wanted to be his. I have not spoke to Zayn since that night. Jake tried to talk to me a couple weeks ago. He wanted to go back out again try things over. I'm not going to lie for anyone. I love Jake woods a lot. That's my problem I never been able to say I love someone before never really understood what that meant. Now that I do I'm scared. What if I mess it up again? What if I get hurt?

So many dumb excuses for why I shouldn't go ahead and date him again try and see if those thing won't happen. So for what ever happens I can't say I feel bad because it was my fault for not taking the chance. No mater how much that hurts when I say it, I know it's the truth.

Things at home has definitely been a lot more jolly. Aunt Lindsey is having a baby. Uncle Robert will be coming back to crystal falls to stay with us and take care of aunt Lindsey and the baby. It's something I'm currently excited for. Natalie and Jason have been slowly getting back to how things use to be between them. I forgave him and he has been there like before. I feel like things might have a chance of Being okay.

Today the only thing circling my mind is,what if I lose Jake forever due to my fears? The thought alone make my heart sink to my stomach and my eyes water. I don't want that day to come because if it do I would not be able to handle it. People use to ask me what about Jake makes me like him so much. Jake has his moment we're I would love to beat him up,but being around him lets these unexplainable feeling. The warmth of his hugs makes me feel as if they are demanded to last forever. The way he makes fun of me for becoming completely speechless and the reddish color my cheeks turn when I'm around him. I enjoy the weird conversations about everything and anything. So,Honestly if one day I had to wake up and lose all of that it would hurt a lot especially if it's because of me being afraid of what could happen.

JAKE P.O.V

I laid in my bed. Once again another sleepless night. She has been all that's been on my mind . I blamed her for something that was out of her control. I just can't help but feel like she might not want to go back out with me again. There is something she is not telling me. I can't keep going like this. Not knowing what's bothering her. I don't want any other girl,I want her. I need her to understand that no matter what she is the one I always want. I sat up and ran my hands through my hair. I grabbed my phone and walked to the bathroom. I had a miss call from my mom. My mom and dad are very busy traveling the world and taking care of there companies. So it being aria and I here is not all that bad. I will call her back later I have a lot to do today.

***

"Skye, where are you !!" I started panicking on the phone .

"Calm down ! Look I picked up a few thing I think you might like" she said giggling on the other side of the line. My cheeks instantly turned red and I sat down.

"Just hurry up and get over her okay?"

"Don't worry Jake,I'll be over soon"she said before the call ended.

(Tori p.o.v)

I stepped out the shower and walked over to the mirror. I fixed my towel over my body and let my hair out of the pony tail.