profile || f.w

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wow, they way finn is so good to her. i'm happy that after everything y/n has finn to lean on and help her get through this rough patch. obviously she has jack too and kinda sophia but she knows finn is going to be there for her no matter what.
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y/n

things have been just a little weird between me and finn. like we still cuddle and do normal things but it's just a little weird i guess? i feel bad, like it's all my fault. i was the one that stopped finn after saying i was okay and i'm the one that messed everything up.

i know what happened at the part happened over a month ago but it's still getting to me. i cant stop thinking about him and what he's going to do next. i'm scared of what he might do to sophia or jack or even finn even though i'm with him all the time. i don't want them to get hurt and for it to be my fault. i wanna distance myself from them so they won't get hurt but on the other hand i wanna be close to them so i can "protect" them. i haven't been going to school much because i'm scared he's going to be watching me. finn usually gets all my work for me after school and when he can't, i get it. i've talked to all my teachers and the police have made them aware of what's going on so they understand. but my grades have started to drop because i can't really focus on my work even though i'm not even at school. it's been weird without my parents here but my mom said they'll be home in a week or two, they're still not sure. i haven't told them what happened because i didn't want them to just come home from their work trip because of me. i don't want to be the one to ruin things even though it seems like that's all i've been doing.

it's been 4 days since finn received the letter from him. we haven't heard or gotten anything either. neither have sophia or jack. sophia and jack are coming to finn's today since i haven't seen jack since that day and we're all going to talk things out with soph. i'm excited to finally talk to my bestfriend but i don't know what i'm going to say. after all she did tell the police about what happened even though i didn't want that to happen. but in the long run i know she did it for me and the police have a couple leads. i tipped them off about matt lewis, the guy that works from dunkin even though it was in my dream. i know that sounds so stupid but why woukd i just have a dream about him. i mean i do see him almost everyday so it makes sense but he has some similarities to him.

everyday i try to think of boys that have similarities to how i remember him and i've noticed i couple that go to my school but it just seems stupid. i mean just because people look the same or have the same characteristics doesn't mean they're him. i'm overthinking this way to much but i just want all this to be over. all i want is for the dreams, visions, flashbacks, and constant fear to go away. sometimes it gets really hard and i think about self harming again but i want to be here for finn. i want to be here for jack, sophia, my parents, and the people i care about. i sound so selfish but i don't really talk to my friends about the situation anymore because i feel like that's all we talk about. everything is all about me and i know most people like attention but i hate it. i don't like being the one everyone asks "are you okay" or "how are you doing" or saying "you'll get over it, you're so strong". it's just so exhausting pretending to care or believe that i can actually get over this because i'm "strong".
i want to be told the truth, i don't want to be babied anymore.
i'm just tired.

a/n

hey guys, this is just a filler chapter. i'm sorry i haven't updated sooner i've been a little busy. thank you guys for almost 130 votes, it means so much.
not proof read