with you, i'll be okay

impulsivity is attractive

Felix's POV

I woke up around 5:00 am to the sound of my phone going off. I shielded my eyes quickly from the extremely bright light, sensitive to my very drowsy eyes. I picked up a without bothering to see who was calling me, " Hello?" I asked slightly annoyed. "Hey Felix! I know it's super early but I had to call. I noticed you hadn't  been uploading recently, and it's not like you to disappear without announcing something before."

I finally looked down at my phone to see who the caller was, but even before I knew I could recognize that American southern twang. " Thanks, Ken I appreciate it. Jack's having a bit of a rough patch and I'm taking time away from youtube to help him through it.", I explained. I did feel bad for not telling anyone, not even my fans about it but as much as I love them and they think I'm some celebrity, I'm a normal person. A normal person who can make impulsive decisions.

"I'm sorry to hear that, I wish the best for Jack, and the two of you." He said sincerely. I thought about the last time I uploaded. It had been a good 2 weeks since. I wonder if they think I'm dead. I only say that because it wouldn't be the first time. " Hey Ken, do you think you could fly out to Brighton sometime soon? Like Sunday soon?" Like I said, I'm an impulsive person.

" Well it's Monday so I'd have a decent amount of time to pack, and I have been meaning to take my wife and daughter on a vacation so I'll surprise them with this! So yes, I can." He said in a joyful tone. I was elated to hear that one of my closest friends could come over. We've never let the fact that we live in different countries fuck with our friendship. " Hell yeah! Anyways the reason I ask is because I want to make a video on mental health, my relationship with Jack and how he's doing. You being there to talk about all of it makes me feel a lot less stressed." I'd ask PJ, but I miss Ken and we barely get to see each other face to face.

" Yeah no problem Felix! I'll be there every step of the way. Also... you and Jack FINALLY got together? I can't decide on to say congrats or about damn time.", he said with a chuckle. " Thank you Ken, very much appreciated dude" I said laughing. Ken always knew I liked Sean, actually, basically everyone knew I liked Sean except Sean. That cute oblivious dumb ass. " Hahahaha no problem, anyways I'm going to look for a flight to book for Friday so I can do some sightseeing with my family because catching up with you. Talk to you later!" And with that he hung up as I said bye.

I decided to go onto Instagram and post something on my story letting my fans know that I am in fact not dead. I decided on posting a black screen with the words " I'm okay,give me some time, I'll be back soon.". It was short, to the point and hopefully relieved some of the fans worries about what happened to me. So I hit post. After that I decided to go work out, well not really. Just because I was back home didn't mean I could lift weights or carry anything heavy or my ribs would be fractured again, and I'd be in excruciating pain again. No thanks.

I just go for walks now, or slight jogs. It's nice enjoying the scenery of where you live, even if you've past it a million times, you'll always discover something new that'll catch your eye. I popped in my earbuds and jog as I watch the rise, it's the city so it's not that peaceful, but more peaceful then the rest of the day. I take what I can get.

Once I'm back I fix something for me to eat, and then start baking cookies for Jack. I visit him everyday and I'll be doing so until he can be released from the hospital. Then I plan on asking him to officially move in with me. I check my phone to see the fans reactions, and on my subreddit the most upvoted post is my post with the caption reading, " the king is okay". I talk shit about the subreddit all the time but I truly do love my fans.

Some other people posted things like " take as long as you need, we're here for you" and others saying talking about the importance of mental health, and even sharing their own struggles with it and how I've help them through it all. I started crying. I know I'm supposed to be all strong for Jack but I struggle myself too, and seeing people saying that that's okay, made me feel so damn loved. I'm very grateful for my fans.

They help me feel like it'll all be okay.
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