Chapter 2 worse

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!!READ THIS BEFORE CONTINUING!! There are some trigger warnings in this chapter, if you get triggered from the following consider not reading this:
Talking of suicide and self-harm
• talking of eating disorder kind of?
• verbal abuse
•physical abuse? (All there is is a aggressive armed grab)
if these are not triggering for you you can go ahead and read it, please do take in account that this is going to happen on some other chapters and could trigger something.

It's been 3 weeks since her funeral. I haven't gotten any better, it's just gotten worse. I've even gone back to doing some bad habits that I used to do when I was younger. it's the only way that I've found to numb the pain. I'm so done with life. I want to die. I am going to die, soon, the pain will all be over.

Sugu pulled me out of my room and into the kitchen, she was complaining how I haven't eaten in a long time so she's going to force feed me. "I can feed myself" I say. Sugu looked back at me and gave me a stare

"okay, but you're going to eat it this time" she says looking back at what she's cooking. Ok, I will" I say quietly. "Not eating is really bad for your health, I know it's hard but you can't just not eat" Sugu shouted sounding a bit concerned. I shake my head "I know, you don't have to worry about though" I say.
"I always worry about you... You know  I don't think Asuna would want you to do this to yourself" Sugu said quietly. "I know... But I just" I couldn't finish my sentence and I started to cry. Sugu stops what she's doing and comforts me. Whenever we bring up the topic of Asuna I usually end up crying. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have brought her up" Sugu said letting go of the hug "it's okay" I say quietly will wiping my tears. We finish up eating then got ready to go out, we made plans with some friends to hang out at the park. I didn't really want to go but I had no choice, my friends would probably come here and drag me out of my house. I tried having fun but it was hard. I mean it's better than being at home, but it's hard to force a smile. The day consisted of Sugu, Sinon, Lisbeth, Klein and me hanging at the park, and going out for dinner. We try to hang out as much as possible to try to keep all our spirits high. It helps for some but I never have fun. 

Sugu and I were walking home, the sun was starting to set, the sky had an orangish pinkish  tint to it, the air was starting to get colder as the winter slowly approached. we were approaching our house when we saw a black car in our driveway. Neither of us recognized it. We approached the car cautiously but no one was inside. We walked inside then we heard a voice " Sugu and Kazuto" the man spoke a bit quieter and disgusted when he said my name, and I instantly recognized this man's voice. It was Kirigaya Minetaka, Sugu's dad and my step grandfather. "It's so nice to see you too again"  Kirigaya said. " It's nice to see you too, dad. but why are you here?" Sugu said happily. " Will you see" Kirigaya said well scratching the back of his head " I lost my house and I have nowhere to stay, would you please allow me to stay here until I can get a place to live?" Kirigaya said as he did a respectful bow. "Hmm… Kazuto are you okay with that?" Sugu said turning to me. I hesitated, but I said yes. I was too scared to say no. Even though I hate this man and I don't want him to live with us, I am hoping that he has changed from when I last saw him. Sugu said that she will make sure that the guest bedroom is ready, that left Kirigaya and me alone. "So I heard that your girlfriend died" Kirigaya said. I didn't say anything and I looked away from him. " Such a shame" he said trying to sound mindful "I'm curious, do you no longer like boys?" He said. My body tensed up at this question, he hated me because I'm bi, when I came out he started to ignore me even more than he was before, but he did things to me, he called me names, he said that I'm not a part of this family. Those words still stick in my mind from this day. "That should be none of your business" I say trying to walk away to my room. He then reaches out and grabs my arm and spins me to where we are facing eye to eye. "Let go of me!" I shouted in fear. Before anything else could happen Sugu came back, Kirigaya quickly let go of my arm and thanked Sugu again for her hospitality. I knew that was bolshit though. I tried coming down so Sugu wouldn't notice. I excused myself and went to my room. I leaned against the bed frame and sat on the cold wood floor, in my dimly lit room. I crawled up into a ball and put my head in my knees. I was freaking out, I was terrified. Of course now, of course he decides to show his face here now. Thoughts were racing through my mind making my panic attack worse . It was so hard to breathe, tears were rolling down my face as I tried to muffle the sound of me crying. How much more of this can I take? Asuna, Eugeo... I need you guys

Sorry that this took a bit longer then expected, school has been keeping me busy. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! And I hope you all have a wonderful day/night!

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