Always Cas | ✔

CHAPTER TWO; part one

     Dolores steps into the kitchen the following morning, looks over at me briefly before saying, "Well, you look like shit."

     "Cas is back," I respond simply, staring down at the cup of coffee in front of me.

     "Oh," she says quickly, surprised. "Really? You saw him? What happened?"

     "He was here. Last night."

     "Why didn't you get me, Dresden?" she exclaims.

     "I was a little preoccupied fielding the giant fuck you being thrown at me." I don't mean to say it, but it's out before I can even give it a second thought. 

     And Dolores sighs, all sympathetic, which is not what I'm looking for. I finish the last of my coffee before I get up. I have an appointment with Ashley. She catches my arm, saying, "Look, start by apologizing. Explain yourself. He'll forgive you. It's Cas, after all."

     It's not Cas. And I don't expect it to be. Not after five years, not after everything I did and said, and didn't say. 

     "I have to go," I say instead. "I have an appointment. You can let Charles know I've got the first batches done already. They just need to be decorated."

     I'm halfway to the door when Dolores says, "Look, Dresden, it's no secret I've been angry with you for how you chose to end things with that boy."

     I snort. Angry being the understatement of the last five years.

     "But," Dolores adds. "That's because I'm your mother and I want what's best for you and I think you ran from what was right. And now you've got a second chance here."

     "Dolores," I warn because the last thing I need is for her to get her hopes up about some kind of reconciliation. The last thing I need is for her to get my hopes up.

     She holds up her hands. "I'm not getting involved this time or caught in the middle of you two. But I'd be remiss not to point out the obvious. You have not been the same since he left. And not everybody gets the opportunity to right their wrongs. So do with that what you will."

     "Okay, well, thanks for that, I guess," I say. "I've gotta go."

     Ashley's office is still in the hospital, on the eleventh floor out of the Behavioral Health Ward. I'm her first session of the day and beat her in. "She should be here soon," Pierce, her assistant, says but I wave him off. He knows I always get here before she does. 

     "Morning, Dresden," she says when she enters the office a few minutes later. She's carrying her purse, a bigger satchel, and a brown bag from Whole Foods. Lately, she's been eating all organic, even switched to decaf, which she complains about often enough. It's because she's pregnant but I'm not supposed to know that, yet. She hasn't announced it.

     "Here, let me," I say as I move to help her carry her things.

     I follow her into her office and set her bags down at her desk. She's in the corner of the building and there's enough windows to naturally light the room up. I can look out and see where the forest line begins, the murky blue-green of the trees reaching up towards the sky.

     I sit down on the chaise and wait for her to get settled, hunching over with my elbows balanced on my knees.

     "These early mornings get harder the closer we get to winter," she's saying as she arranges her desk.

     "It's hardly fall," I respond.

     "Well, with how cool it's been, it feels like winter. Okay, I'm ready." She opens her notebook and then looks up at me. Her eyebrow goes up questioningly. "You didn't sleep well last night?"