Eli

I'm sorry

Eli POV

After I walked away from Hannah, I found a deserted hallway that no one ever came down. It was full of classrooms that haven't been used in a couple of years so no one ever comes down here.

When the bell rang, I stayed where I was and didn't bother to move. I just want to hold him again, to feel his soft skin on mine, to breath in his scent that I love. Nick helps me be calm, he doesn't know what he did to me yet we both loved the thrill of it.

Just then I heard someone walking down the hallway. My head snapped up to see nick looking so fucking gorgeous as usual. A small gasp escaped his lips when he saw me.

"Are you ok?" He came up to me and kneels down. I shook my head and tried not to cry even more. Just having him this close is enough for me.

"Do you want to talk about it? I can skip class if you need a friend." Nick smiled softly and put his hand on my arm.

"I, I just lost someone really important to me. H-he meant more to me than life and it hurts to much." I sobbed.

Nick immediately wrapped his arms around me. I burned his nose in the crook of his neck as my arms held him close to my chest.

"I'm sorry." He mumbled.

"It's not your fault, it's mine." I told him the truth. He may not remember but I do, and I should have done more to protect him.

"I'm sure it isn't. I know what self blame feels like." Nick sighed. He rubbed my back then went to pull away. Immediately I held him tighter, keeping him close to my chest.

"Please, just, just let me hold you. Please." I begged him.

"Oh, Uh um ok. Yeah sure. Everyone needs a hug when they're sad." He laid his cheek on my shoulder while I buried my face in the crook of his neck.

"I heard you at the classroom. You said you asked him to marry him." He added.

"Yeah." I chuckled a little. "Not the most romantic way either. It just kind of slipped out when I was making love to him."

"I'm sure it was romantic to him." Nick told me and relaxed in my arms. He may not remember me but his body sure does. "Tell me about him. What was his name?"

"Nick. His name was nick, like yours. He was the best thing that ever happened to me. When my parents died I thought I wouldn't have anyone ever again, but then I got miss potter, her partner and a brother and sister. They love me but what he gave me was so much more. I told him my biggest secret and he never once used it against me, and he told me his. Beyond all our flaws, he still saw the best in me. And he was broken, he stuttered around me a lot, he barely looked at me but then I broke that awkwardness when I first kissed him. I was his first everything but someone took that from me." I sighed.

"What happened to him?"

"I can't say. It still hurts when I think about it." I told him.

Nick nodded then we both fell into silence. He never once tried to pull away from me and I made no move to let him go any time soon.

"Nikolai." Someone called him and walked down the corridor. "Hey, is he bothering you?" That Harry kid glared at me.

"No harry. I'm just trying to be a friend and comfort him." Nick rolled his eyes. A pet peeve of mine that I hated about him yet have come to love. Even to have it directed at me would help me a little.

"You don't need anymore friends. Especially not Eli, he's a freak and a player. Get away from him before you get an std." Harry gagged.

"To get an std I'd have to have slept with him, and I'm not going to. And he's going through a lot at the moment so don't call him names. You wouldn't like it done to you would you?" Nick glared at him.

"Come on nick. Let's go before you gives you any other type of disease." Harry went to grab him. Before I could even pull him away, nick frowned and moved away himself. At least his heart still knows it wants me, even if his head doesn't remember me.

"Whatever then. Don't come crying to me when he's raped you and given you a std." Harry rolled his eyes and walked off.

"I won't ever hurt you." I whispered to him. "Or ever rape you. I'd rather die than let anyone or me harm you."

"Why do you say that?" Nick looked up at me and frowned.

"I really hope one day you know. Really hope." I tucked his hair behind his ear. A red tint came on to his cheeks as he bit his bottom lip.

"Can I tell you something?"

"Anything."

"I really feel like there's a piece of my life that is missing. My family seems off and I have a feeling that something is going to happen. Eli I feel like the last six months have been a total lie. Like someone took something from me yet I can't place it." He sighed.

"One day, it will all make sense hopefully." I told him.

"And what if it doesn't?" Nick frowned. "I have this feeling like someone, not just someone but a really important person that was present in my life has gone. Like they were there and just disappeared. It's so strange but I know I'm right. I just can't place it."

Only if he knew he was talking to that person.