Stolen

12. Decisions

"A mistake can be avoided by making the right decision. But we never know what the future has in store for us."
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"La vida es desmasiado corta para no vivirla por ti misma." Her words struck a chord in him, before Nathaniel could come out of his trance she was gone, he stared at the empty hallways. Hoping to find her retreating back or the sound of a door closing so he could find her room, but he found nothing. It was like she vanished again, he was about to go searching for her when he recalled her promise to meet at breakfast tomorrow. He took one last look at the hallway and closed the door.

He now faced a room surprisingly well suited for his tastes, dark and gloomy interior which was minimalistic but elegant. Nathaniel liked the room, his thoughts went back to her. 'Life is too short to not live it for yourself

'Who knew Spanish could sound so sexy...' Said the voice in his head.

'Could you move on from her sexiness and focus on what she said?' Nathaniel asked a little annoyed. But he had to admit that her voice was attractive.

'She told you the exact same thing I have been telling you for years, you can focus on that while I focus on her.' Said the voice, sounding smug.

'She said life if too short to not live it for myself, when did you ever say that?' He asked

'I tell you to make her yours, I tell you to claim what you want, I tell you to listen to me and enjoy yourself, I tell you to give me control to let me show you how, how is that not asking you to live live for yourself. You stay cooped up wherever sick world you created, and lock me in with you, denying me the pleasure I deserve. You are nothing more than a block of ice, cold and unfeeling. Do you think she will want you anymore? Do you think anyone will want you, if not for your money?' The voice asked all playfulness gone, accusing him for his irresponsiveness.

'All you ask me is to become an animal. To act on instinct and forget reason. So that you can get what YOU want! Not what I want, I have everything I want.' Nathaniel rebutted, he did not like admitting he was wrong even if the accusation was from his head.

'Don't you realise? I am you, I am your heart, your conscience. I am the part of you that you locked inside yourself, hidden from stranger's eyes. Do you not realise? You are lonely and tired. You have no one to talk to, Jared and Irina are the only ones around you. You don't have anything to talk to them outside of work. So you decided to talk to me, to yourself. You are not sane anymore. You have gone crazy from loneliness. I ask you to get what you want but you don't, saying you have everything you want. Really now, you have nothing you want because you don't have anything you want. Who would believe that the Nathaniel Diśsiri is afraid of rejection. No one will know now will they because you have everything that others want they wouldn't be able to see that you don't have anything that you want.' The voice said mocking him.

Nathaniel could not respond to this, he knew the voice was just he speaking to himself. He knew that he was lonely, he had been for a very long time now. He was used to not have anyone by his side.

"World is a cruel place, you only have yourself son." The memory of his father's voice echoed in his mind.

"Don't worry Nate, If you are lonely and others can't understand you, then just talk to yourself. That way you won't forget how to speak." His mother's words rang in his head. Her words turned out to be both good and bad advice at the same time.