Hamdi The Killer - Dedicated to greengrocers, meteors, nebulas and flies.

Differences between greengrocers and killers

There is no big difference between killers and greengrocers, actually. The minor difference is money.  Greengrocers take defenseless creatures and put them in a bag. That’s the thing about being a killer and greengrocer, killers don’t make money per kilogram. A killer may get the same money by killing 140 kilograms or 55 kilograms of men. That is actually a good thing sometimes, like when I kill people who are 55 kilograms. Yet, people have got to find something to complain about, that’s what they do.

  That reminds me, once a man thought himself more than a fruit. What I mean is, if something is on my “to kill” or “to read” list, it won’t stay there long. That man didn’t know that of course. That man also wasn’t aware of nebulas. Somewhere in the universe nebulas were forming and that guy had no idea. Whenever I kill someone, somewhere in the universe, a nebula appears. That’s the thing about nebulas. Whether you kill someone or not, they will always be there, until the end of time. Nebulas can be greatest thing in the universe, of course, after humans. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I am fan of humans. If unicorns were real and paid me to kill another unicorn, I would do it. I think that makes me a bad person. After all, I am a bad person. If I don’t accept that, then I am even worse of a person, for not admitting I have a disease. There are little bugs balled up in my head, and they eat me alive. I called them my conscience. I killed them with a bug spray. I don’t want to tell you how I did it, because I don’t want everyone to kill their “bugs.” That’s what keeps you…together, in fact. Just because you don’t know that, doesn’t mean it’s not true. People lived quite a time without knowing what they were made of. Then they got bored. I hope my solution will stop working at some point so that maybe I wouldn’t be so much…not together. Maybe one day I’ll let them to eat me. Maybe I’ll become a greengrocer, only if the cost of rent weren’t so high. I make quite a bit money by myself though. That’s just how I am. I dream about things I know I’ll never be and businesses that I am never going to even try to open. Not touching nebulas doesn’t keep me from like them. 

  The name is Hamdi, my friends. I am a murderer and a very lonely guy when I have free time. Please don’t leave me alone. I tell my story to the stars and the sun rise. My friends, that’s how alone I am.
It took two years to become a killer and took a while more to become Hamdi. Still, I am not Hamdi enough. I think I am more like Bade yet I am not so sure about it. It doesn’t matter as far as I am concerned. There is no going back from Hamdi.  One cannot change what he is, at least, not in this world. Although, I don’t know a lot of world, just a little, like KOI 172.02 - one of the exoplanets that looks almost exactly like your planet Earth. I wonder what made people discover this planet. I mean, if someone looks out into space, they’re definitely not looking for another world. It doesn’t matter how great it is. There were times when people were discovering worlds every week. Every time someone discovered a planet, I became more relieved. At least I can ruin this world in comfort. Surely in doing that, I wasn’t a help at all. I wasn’t even doing anything important.

   People don’t like killers in times of peace. It’s not my fault I was born in a peaceful time, but as for the people that I killed, it was definitely their fault that they are born in a time of peace, or… or…it was their parent’s fault! Okay, okay maybe it’s my fault, but If I didn’t kill them, eventually someone would’ve. I was only the messenger.  Those who are hired killers are always seen as culprits, unlike those with an ordinary job. Of course this is makes sense most of the time, at least in my case. If no one hired me, I would start to smoke cigarettes like everyone else. Also, I would have children, even though I can’t afford to care for them. Yes, yes, I would definitely start a job with a regular salary which of a quarter of would be paid to a psychiatrist.

  “Doctor, my income is just so stable. It annoys me so much. I’m so bored.”

   “So, you would like a raise?”

  “Yeah, sure, or the opposite of a raise. Is there such a word?”

   “I don’t think in all of human history, has anybody ever needed to use such a word.”

  “Excellent! I like being first. From now on I will call it “raiseless.” Yes, I want a raiseless or a raise. Both are fine by me. Do you understand what I am saying?”

  “Of course! That’s perfectly normal.”

  “What, wanting a raiseless?”

  “No, that’s total bullshit. What’s normal is that you’re bored of your routine. I’m going to recommend something, but you should never spend more than $50 for this. Otherwise, unpleasant things are going to happen.”

  “What would happen?”

  “Three apples will fall from sky right on your head. Just do it as I say. Start gambling, but not really gambling, like just some football games or horse races.”

  “Those are examples of exactly what gambling is.”

  “Then, start with those but know your limit.”

  “Of course, that’s who I am. Mister Knows His Limit.”

  I just saved myself from spending money on a psychiatrist.  I think I am not normal, but, to be honest, I think I this personality suits me best.