chaotic good

remember?

/based on the picture above/

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Balloons. It was always those goddamn balloons. 

I stare out at the sky, face void of emotion as I watch the balloons gently float away.

                                                                                             - 

I remember the first day that I met the boy. He was not out of the ordinary in anyway but something about him made him special. Perhaps it was the forceful ambition in his eyes or the stone-set concentration on his face. He looked a boy that mothers never fully approve their little girls dating but never disapproved. I was the kind of person mothers warned boys about.

There's a saying; 'dont bite off more than you can chew'. Well, I completely ignored the wise words. I approached him, coffee in one hand and a handful of balloons in the other, grinning magnificently. 

'Hi'

He met my eyes but quickly moved his gaze over to a police car that was flashing by, sirens drowning out the sounds of the droning of street vendors.

'Hey'

'Mind if I sit?' He coldly looked at me again and reluctantly shuffled his rucksack across, motioning with his hand for me to sit. I quietly muttered a thanks and gracefully take the spot next to him. We didn't talk to a while but it wasn't awkward. There was an air of familiarity between us. Something that I had not felt in a long time with anybody.
I glance over at him and take a sip of my cappuccino. He had chocolate coloured hair which highlighted his slightly squared face in a fashionable manner; classy and elegant. The sun shone through the tops of the trees and I quickly analysed his appearance. Dimples, suspenders, suit. A perfect combination of adolescence and adulthood. I could smell his cologne, a thick yet sweet mix of flowers, oak and just a tiny touch of musk. Everything that I would have chosen.

The silence was broken by a string of rather aggressive words that he suddenly asked.

'Cut to the chase. Why are you here?'

'Why shouldn't I be? I don't know who you are.'

He scoffs and shakes his head, carefully. He was in full control of the situation and his own actions. He gives a look of disappointment with subtle hints of disgust. It was a look that could strike uncertainty into anybody's heart and it gave him an aura of power. I felt my own heart hammering in my chest.

'You really don't remember, do you?'

'I'm sorry, what am I supposed to remember?'

He took the balloons from me, his hand briefly touched mine. I felt nothing, his hand was a cold as ice but yet, there was no sense to it. I drew my hand back, quickly and subtly so that he wouldn't notice my reaction. After all, I had to appear calm and collected at all times. The boy did something to the balloons. I don't know what and I don't have the right words to explain it. Suddenly, they were just different.

'Here, now you'll remember'

And before I could ask what he had meant by his trivial words, he vanished. Like he didn't exist. My vision blurred, lines distorted and then. I remembered what I was. Who I was. And I couldn't deal with that.

My downfall started with the balloons. Those goddamn balloons. 

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photo credits : Sarah Jio from her website