Don't Go [Muke Clemmings]

Chapter Twenty Eight

Luke

"I'm so sorry, Jamie."

"I don't know how I feel about it. I mean, of course I'm sad, he's my dad, but... I don't know, I'm a little relieved. Does that make me a bad person?"

"No, of course it doesn't. It's not like you're saying you're happy about it."

"Yeah, but still. I shouldn't be relieved that my dad is dead. If it weren't for him, I wouldn't exist. Well, I might, but I wouldn't be me."

That's when it sunk in...

Jamie's dad.

Michael's dad.

Michael's half-sister.

"Oh, my God."

"What is it, Luke?"

"Michael's your brother."

Michael

Luke left the room to talk to Jamie, and I turned back to my mother. "Why are you in contact with her, Mom? How do you even know she exists? I thought you haven't talked to Dad since the divorce."

"I hadn't, until I ran into him at a recent event."

"What event?"

"The barbecue at your friend's house."

"Wait... That doesn't even make sense. The only people there were Jamie's family and us... Oh, my." She nodded. "Jamie's my sister? That's so cool! Wait, what happened to Dad?"

Luke walked in the room and put his phone down on the table. "So have you figured it out yet?" I nodded. He bent down and gave me a hug. "I'm so sorry."

"Why? I've always wanted a sister."

"Not about that."

I turned back to my mom, who wiped a tear from her eye. "Well, Mikey, at least you got to meet him once."

It took a minute for it to sink in, and when it did, I ended up sobbing into Luke's chest until my mom made him leave. My dad was dead. My dad that I had only met one time in my entire life, excluding when I was a baby (because I couldn't remember that), was dead. That's one way to flip a great day around.

"I'm so sorry, Michael." Luke sat down next to me and kissed my forehead. "Karen, I'm sorry, too."

Mom nodded and I leaned my head on Luke's shoulder. "Mom?"

"Yeah?"

"Why did you guys break up?"

"Well... I've never really told you about this, but... we weren't really together. I mean, we were, but...

"I didn't know he was married, Michael. I didn't know he had a daughter, or anything about his life at all. We met at a bar, and he seemed like a really nice guy at the time. I was there because I had just been dumped by a 3-year boyfriend, and your father was just so understanding and sweet, and one thing led to another...

"We had been together for three months when it all changed. I found out I was pregnant, and he flipped out. He started sobbing and mumbling about how this was his punishment. I asked, 'What do you mean?' because I didn't understand. I had always wanted a baby, and I thought he would be the perfect father. That's when he decided to tell me. He said: 'I never thought you would find out, but now I guess I have to tell you.'

"He told me all about his wife, and Jamie, and everything he hadn't told me. I broke up with him on the spot."

I went over to hug her because I had no idea her break up with my father had been so hard... but there was one thing I still didn't understand. "Why was he there when our was born? You told me that was him, the one we couldn't see the face of."

"I didn't want to tell you that you had never met your father, or the type of person he was. I wanted your life to be better than this, Mikey." She started sobbing into her hands and I rubbed her back.

"You've given me the best life you could, Mom. We didn't have much, but you made the best of it, and I love you for that."

"I love you too."

Luke stood there awkwardly, obviously not sure what to do. "Should I leave?"

I shook my head. "You've also been a great part of my life being so great. I want you to stay. Get in this hug!"

So the three of us were there in a group hug for a couple of minutes, basically consisting of my mom crying on me, me crying on Luke, and Luke rubbing both of our backs.

"I told Jamie I would meet her at the hospital," Luke said suddenly, getting up.

"I'll go with you," I told him, and followed him out the door. "I should be there when she finds out I'm her brother, right?"

"About that..."

"What?"

"I already told her."

"When?"

"When we were on the phone, and she told me her dad died."

"Luke!"

"I'm sorry, that's when it sunk in, I just blurted it out. You know I can't keep my mouth shut for all of mankind."

"No, I mean that word."

"Oh. Sorry, babe, I forgot he was your dad, too."

"I'll forgive you if you keep calling me 'babe.'"

"Alright, 'babe,' which way to the hospital?"

Jamie

It was my fault. I was the reason he died.

I mean, I didn't kill him or anything, but... I sort of wished something would happen to him. I didn't want him to die, I just hoped my parents would split up or something, but I didn't want to deal with him anymore.

Ever since my mother told him I was gay, he'd been treating me like some sort of mutant. When I came down for breakfast in the morning, he would just look at me and tell my mom to say goodbye to me for him because she was a woman. Um... hello, father, my sexuality has no difference on who can talk to me. It's not really like he talked to me either way, but just because I like boobs doesn't mean my own fûcking father can't say goodbye to me in the morning. I mean, I have two male best friends; do you think I make them speak to me through Sara?

Thinking about this made the tears rush faster. Why was I thinking resentful thoughts about how he acted when he was alive? I should be mourning his death. He wasn't that bad. I mean, he wasn't at all like Sara's dad. He wasn't a murderer, or abusive, or anything, he was just a little homophobic. No, that wasn't okay, but yes, it was better than some. He didn't stop me from seeing Sara, he didn't try to change me, he just had a little trouble accepting me for who I was. Everybody has a little trouble with that sometimes, why was I blaming him for a mistake that everyone makes? I was a terrible daughter. I was a terrible person. I was just plain terrible.

I curled up in my bed after turning on the radio. Fall Out Boy was playing. I laid back and counted the times that one note was hit in the song, and eventually, I fell asleep.

A/N: I AM SO SORRY I TOOK SO LONG, and the worst part is, the next chapter's probably going to take a long time and be very short as well. I finally have a life, so it's hard for me to remember to update this, and when I do, I get writer's block and eventually just end up going on tumblr. I GOT THIS ONE OUT THOUGH, SO ENJOY UNTIL NEXT TIME!
- <3 rach <3