I'm Not Okay - Dean Winchester Imagine

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It was maybe 2 or 3 in the morning, you didn't know anymore. All you knew was that if it wasn't for the Winchesters you would be dead. You had been on a hunt, it was a Wendigo, you had been hunting it for weeks when the Winchesters showed up. You thought you had it all under control, you had just smoked the bastard when another one came up behind you. It grabbed your (h/l) (h/c) hair and swung you into the wall. You cried out in pain. That's when they showed up and ganked the damn thing. The Winchester brothers. Your first words to them had been quite amusing looking back on it now. "Winchesters, the bloody Winchesters. Man do I feel special." You muttered to yourself sarcastically before standing up. "Well thanks for the help, I'll be seeing you." You stated to them wanting to get out of there. You had heard all about the Winchesters and what they had been through. Like how Sam lost everyone he loved and how Dean had gone to hell only to be dragged out four months later. You didn't want to be another burden to the by sticking around longer than you should.

"Whoa, hold up." Dean had said grabbing your arm. "Who are you? How the hell do you know about us?" He had asked. Quite rudely in your opinion too. You just laughed cockily.

"I'm (y/n). (y/n) (l/n), I'm a hunter that knows a little bit about a lot of things. Just enough to make me dangerous." You had told them before walking off. After that you hunted with them on and off after that, occasionally helping them out on hunts that would take more than two people. It was on a hunt involving a Rugaru that they decided that you should hunt with them permanently, you had just saved their asses again when it had trapped Sam in the closet and was about to chow down on Dean, you had busted in the door with your homemade flamethrower in hand, burning the son of a bitch. After time you and Dean got into an on/off relationship and right now you were on. Hence the reason Sam wasn't in the room with the two off you. As you shut your eyes and tried to get some sleep, you felt weight leave the bed.

"Dean?" You asked groggily not sure what he was doing.

"Just go back to sleep (y/n)" Dean told you. You rolled over only to see him packing a duffel bag full of his stuff.

"Were you going to leave me? Just up and leave with no note?" You asked, hurt as your voice cracked.

"I don't want you getting hurt because of me (y/n)." He told you. You chuckled darkly.

"You think I care if I get hurt?" You asked. "Dean, I hunt monsters for fuck sake." You said shaking your head in disbelief.

"I'm a danger to be around (y/n)." Dean said trying to convince you this was a good thing. That annoyed you. You were just as good a hunter as he was.

"Fine then. You walk out that door, you don't come back to me. If you leave I'll never see you again, I promise you that but I'll only have the memory of you as a man I thought loved me only for him to break my heart." You snapped tears coming to your eyes, threatening to fall. Although you and Dean never said it out loud it was obvious that you two loved each other.

"You think I don't love you? I'm doing this because I love you." Dean said frustrated as he walked towards you.

"Then don't leave." You begged, your voice cracking as the tears finally fell. He gave you a sad look before pulling you into a hug and kissing the top of your head.

"I have to." He muttered into your hair. Dean eventually pulled away from the hug and walked away, picking up his duffel bag as he opened the door.

"If you leave Dean Winchester don't you ever come back, you hear me. Don't you ever come back, because if you do I'll probably do somethin' stupid like fall in love with you again." You said, the tears falling faster than ever. He gave you another sad look but this time a tear slid down his face as he walked out. You cried a bit longer before wiping your eyes and quickly packing your stuff. You walked out of the motel room and over to where your Chevy Corvette was parked. You saw Dean look over at you from Sam's room door. You assumed he was waiting on Sam. You got in your car and stuck on the mix tape your friend made you, it was full of yours and her favourite songs. One of her favourite songs came on 'Wherever You Are' by 5SOS. You let out another sob before composing yourself and pulling out of the motel. As you sped down the highway with out a second glance back to Sam or Dean you sat thinking to yourself. 'It's time to move on from Dean, maybe with time I'll be ready to see them again' Was your last thought as you drove down the highway towards your best friends hometown. Maybe she could help you with your loss. After all she helped you with hunting when you first started out all those years ago. You knew she knew you were coming. After all she is a psychic. She could help you, you knew it. You weren't okay but you will be one day.

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