If You Miss It

4. bump

CHAPTER FOUR

BUMP

—

Church was starting to become more and more painful to deal with.

With the church-goers constantly bashing on any religion that wasn't Christianity, justifying their hate with Bible verses, spewing their own, made-up bullshit about homophobia and transphobia— Dmitri was getting sick of it.

However, the worst part about church was the judgemental stares of the church-goers; literal fucking vultures circling the dead, waiting to pounce on his carcass of mental illness and queerness.

It was easier a year ago, when Eden used to accompany him to church. People were less intrusive, less pushy.

Unfortunately, that stopped when she accidentally let it slip that she didn't actually enjoy going to church, and she only did it because he looked like he "was going to cry every time he went to church" and "needed moral support".

He was still a Christian, there was no denying that. While the priest (and most others at the church) were fucking frustrating, Dmitri wasn't about to give up his faith for them. Sure, it was hard to be surrounded by some of the most intolerable people he had ever met, but they weren't worth him giving up on one of the only things he believed in.

That didn't stop him from wanting to commit a murder every time he entered the church, though.

Shooting the person beside him a strained smile, Dmitri sidled past them and left the church once the mass ended, finally allowing himself to breathe. The choir had thankfully become a faint echo behind him as he left, walking all the way to his car where he saw that Eden had sent him a message.

e <3 -
How was church!!!!!!! Did you sing with the choir??🙆🏾‍♂️🎶🙆🏾‍♂️🎶

A small laugh left Dmitri's mouth, and he shook his head, quickly typing a text back to her.

D💜 -
absolutely not lolol

D💜 -
think I'm going to the mall, I'll see you in a few yea?

For someone so proudly queer, he sure didn't text like it.

e <3 -
No emojis... where is the FLAVOR. Anyway, ya ok😘

So, Dmitri began to drive, switching on the radio and turning it down to the lowest volume, a trashy pop song playing on it, one that he couldn't really care for. He just needed the music while he drove, the silence was too overwhelming.

Honestly, Dmitri had no fucking clue what he was doing at the mall. There was no need for him to even be there, he didn't have anything that he needed to buy, other than a gift for Trinh's birthday, which was a whole two weeks away.

Sighing, Dmitri entered the mall, alone, the sound of Lorde reverberating in his ears, volume cranked up on full to avoid the fucking loneliness, the quiet, the everything, because even though his head was starting to ache from the music, anything hurt less than the numbing silence.

Depression really was a fucking bitch, sometimes.

He wasn't in a depressive episode, per se. Those were worse. Those were standing under the shower at two a.m, fully clothed, just to feel something that wasn't numb, getting out of bed and feeling tired immediately after, cracking jokes that were actually morbid and getting pity laughs from everyone.

Yeah, those were worse.

This is just a bump in the road. A tiny bump.

Just as Dmitri was scanning the racks of clothes, just so that he didn't seem suspicious in the store, out of the corner of his eye, he saw someone.