If You Miss It

17. bravado

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

BRAVADO

—

"Okay, wait, can we stop the car?"

Dmitri paused, glancing at Tariq. "Uh— okay? Why?"

"So that I don't push you out in case you say something stupid."

I should be saying that to you. Eyes roaming around his surroundings, he finally found a spot where he could pull over, a tiny alleyway with houses on one side and a footpath on the other, a simple brick wall behind it.

"This would be so fucking creepy if I didn't know that if you tried to murder me, your chaotic ass would make so much fucking noise," Tariq stated as he shoved his phone back into the pocket of his jeans, his t-shirt coming untucked on the right side as he did.

"I'm not going to fucking murder you, don't be ridiculous," Dmitri muttered, parking his car and stepping out, his heart pounding in his chest, so hard, and so loud that he was almost sure that Tariq could hear it.

And that was confirmed when Tariq snorted, nudging Dmitri and taking a seat right there, on the footpath.

"Uh— are we just sitting here?" What the fuck? "On the footpath?"

Tariq did the weirdest shit, sometimes.

Shrugging, Tariq reached up until his fingers managed to touch Dmitri's jacket, before tugging at it and gesturing for him to sit down.

"No one's around, we can sit here," he said. "Worst comes to worst, someone passes by and thinks we're fucking meditating on the side of the road or something."

"At the way you're making my stress levels sky-rocket, I think I'm going to have to meditate soon enough, anyway."

But still, Dmitri sat down on the footpath, bringing his knees up to his chest, hoping and praying that no one would walk by, because if they did, he'd simply have to pass away from the embarrassment.

For a moment, the two of them were silent, the only sound being the cars speeding by in the adjacent street, and the occasional chatter from the houses opposite the footpath. Should I be saying something, or— ?

Just as Dmitri was about to say something along the lines of, 'This is fucking stupid,' Tariq spoke, his voice hesitant as he said, "You know that there's no actual, concrete reason that we broke up, right?"

"Jumping right into it, I see," Dmitri mumbled, his mind all mashed up in his head. "Before we start, though, I think you should know that you're genuinely such a dick."

Those words were not supposed to leave his mouth. That wasn't the plan.

Tariq snorted. "I know, Dmitri. That's—"

"No, no, you don't," Dmitri interrupted, shaking his head as the words just tumbled out of his mouth. "You don't know how much of a dick you are— well, you've become. I know that you don't mean to be, but you are. And holy fucking shit, it's a pain to deal with," he rambled, continuing despite Tariq opening his mouth to speak.

Just tell him. "It just frustrates me so much when you push me away, tell me to fuck off, leave every single time shit gets even semi-rough. Literally every time. For example, this morning. We were doing fucking fine last night, and this morning, you told me to fuck off. I don't fucking understand. Like— I genuinely don't want to dislike you— well, sometimes I do— but you make it really hard not to.