I'm Sorry Boris

The Guitar

"Hello?" I ask. "Hi" A soft voice whispers on the other end.

"Boris" I say in relief. 

I tell the boy of my plans and he throws in an occasional "okay" or "yea" to show he's listening. I hear my train approaching and tell him to go back inside and try and sleep. "Stay safe buddy, I love you" I say as I put the phone away. "You too" he says as he wonders back to our awful home. 

The train comes to a stop and the doors silently open. I take a deep breath before stepping onto the train. I look around the train to only see a few other people. I decide to go for the back of the train where only an old man sits. 

I slowly make my way to the back of the train and see the man give me a soft, welcoming smile. I smile back and take my seat across from him. Dropping my shoulders to relax, I set my bag on the empty seat next to me, reaching for my guitar case.

The train is pretty quiet so I can hear the slow zipper of the case open. I carefully take the guitar out and put the case on the floor. Setting the guitar on my knee I start strumming a short tune. Nothing fancy, just the same dozen or so notes over and over again. It was slow. I couldn't decide if it was meant to be a sad kind of slow or a settling slow. 

I look up to see the man across from me watching in awe. Although it was nothing crazy, he seemed to enjoy my music. I smiled at him and he nodded in approval, swaying his body to the music.

I started humming, the only thing on my mind was my brother. I felt bad. I left him stranded in an awful home in the hopes of fixing us up a better life. And if it doesn't work then what? What if I come home and our house is empty, Boris gone with it. I couldn't even think about that.

I shook that thought away as I continued to hum and play my guitar. Slowly building onto to tune I was playing and adding more and more notes. "I'm sorry" I kept quietly singing to myself. Eventually "I'm sorry" turned into "I'm sorry Boris, I'm leaving" and the man across from me took notice. 

It came to my attention that I had been playing the same tune for about an hour and sort of unintentionally creating a song. The buildup was slow so I'm sure the man had just discovered as well as me that this wasn't some passing time tune, it was a goodbye. 

"Starting over?" He asks me as he tries to meet my gaze. It startled me if I'm honest. The words disturbing the close to silence we've had this whole ride. I nodded yes and looked up at him, stopping my singing but continuing to play guitar. 

"Ah." He says to himself as if he was debating on saying something next or just leaving it at that. 

I gave him a soft smile, hoping whatever he was planning to say would help me. 

"Can I tell you something kid?" He says with a slight sparkle in his eyes. I didn't know this man but for whatever reason his presence felt like a hug to me. It was comforting. I have no idea who he is or where he came from but something inside me told me he was wise and that I should listen. 

"Go for it." I say with a grin as I set my guitar down still on my lap, folding my hands and directing my full attention towards him.