Charliemind

The Journey to Silent Hill

A group of police officers came in through the door to the bar and looked around suspiciously. Then they marched up to the bar and asked the barman and his flesh puppet, "Have you seen a hideously ugly bald humanoid, a blue humanoid, a humanoid with a pyramid for a head and Benedict Cumberpoggers?"
"Nope. No one like that round here." The bartender replied as Pyramid Head, Gru and Baldeagle Catapult listened in shock. Then, with a deep, rising sense of nauseating horror, they collectively realised they'd left Megamind on his stool. Then they heard one of the policemen say, "Oh, by the way, there's a red and blue smear on one of your barstools. Might wanna clean that up, it looks like someone drank paint and then vomited everywhere."
"I'll see that it gets cleaned." The bartender replied as the gang of police officers left. Once they'd gone and driven off, Baptism Camouflage, Pyramid Head and Gru got up from behind the bar. "Thanks for not selling us out." Barbarian Capitalist said. "Mummy didn't raise a snitch." The bartender replied. "And on that note we're leaving, c'mon, pack your shit." Pyramid Head instructed the others and Gru and Baloney Concrete lifted Megamind's immobile form off the seat in a joint effort. "This dude named Michael used to ride motorcycles. Dick bigger than a tower, I ain't talking about Eiffel's." Gru crooned as he carried Megamind out of the bar. Pyramid Head pushed the car out the wall of the bar and onto the street, and Baseball Consumer and Gru loaded Megamind into it and then got in themselves. "Right, straight to Silent Hill to meet Charlie. Now we know the cops are on our trail we should get moving." Basketball Crotchgoblin said as Pyramid Head got in the passenger seat. "Just to meet Charlie, I don't fancy getting trapped in that hellhole again." Pyramid Head replied as Boobiecart Catnip started the car. "I just shit my pants!" Gru chimed in cheerfully. "Mhgg...gfuuhh..." Megamind mumbled as they drove off in the direction of Silent Hill.

For Megamind, Gru and Pyramid Head, the journey to Silent Hill was over in seconds, as they had all immediately passed out from exhaustion. For Badminton Countryhumans, it had taken a solid two and a half days of driving with no break and no sleep, and when the other three finally woke up, they looked up to see that Backyard Cakecasket's hands were clamped so tightly around the wheel they had gone a chalky white. Rigor mortis had set in and his eyes had completely disappeared beneath the bloated bags surrounding them. Sweat drenched his body and his lips were pulled back into an indefinite grimace. "Uh... big ben? Are you ok?" Pyramid Head asked. Bedlam Coffincandy replied with a pained and muffled cry through his teeth. "Help me pry his hands off the wheel." Pyramid head instructed Gru. It took the pair of them ten solid minutes of yanking to finally rip his hands from the steering wheel. Up ahead, surrounded by fog, was a looming, aged green sign that said, 'Welcome to Silent Hill' and standing below it was Charlie, surrounded by the lifeless corpses of many hideous nurses. Pyramid Head and Gru sheepishly walked up to him, Pyramid Head carrying Balsamic Courtjester and Gru carrying Megamind, seeing as they were both now immobile. Charlie's smile faltered when he saw the catatonic form of Beanguzzler Crustycamp and the grotesquely mangled form of Megamind and he yelled, "WHAT HAPPENED?!!"
"I don't want to talk about it." Pyramid Head replied quietly. "Can you fix them?" Gru asked. "Of course, but I think it would be funnier to leave them like this and drag them around Silent Hill on a sledge." Charlie grinned. "Oh yes, I like zat plan!" Gru said excitedly. "Well I'm not dragging them around." Pyramid Head muttered. "Me neither, they would interfere with my vibes." Charlie said. "I could just eat them?" Gru offered. "KILL ME!!" Megamind cried. "Maybe fixing them would be simplest." Pyramid Head mused. "Ok, ok, I'll fix them." Charlie said, pulling out a strange contraption that vaguely resembled a gun. He typed the word 'fix' on a glowing screen on the side of the gadget, and then fired a glowing beam from it that enveloped Batman Creepshow and Megamind. When the light disappeared, Megamind and Beetlejuice Canadian had been restored to their normal selves. "What happened?" Bigfoot Cannabis asked. "CHARLIE!!" Megamind cried, running up and hugging one of Charlie's massive insect legs, as his body was too high to reach without climbing. Charlie already regretted restoring him, but gave him a comforting pat none the less, knowing he'd been through a lot. "Wow, you DECIMATED these nurses. Good riddance. One came at me once with a massive syringe needle so I kicked her in the tits and ran for my life." Pyramid Head recounted. Then an ominous clicking echoed out from the fog and everyone jumped and stepped back. A creature emerged that vaguely resembled a spider and appeared to be made out of various mannequin parts. Everyone screamed except Pyramid Head, who called, "Mannequin monster, bro!! How've you been?!"
"Hideous." The mannequin monster replied, and proceeded to do the longest, most complex handshake with Pyramid Head that the others had ever witnessed. It lasted fifteen minutes. "I hope that cult hasn't been giving you too much trouble." Pyramid Head said once they were done. "I've turned six of them into mannequins since you were gone." The mannequin monster replied. "This reunion is very heartwarming, but we are kinda on the run from the cops here." Ballerina Caralarm said impatiently. Gru walked up to one of the lifeless nurses and said, "Can I eat these?"
"Knock yourself out!" Charlie replied with a grin and Gru began devouring the nurses one by one. "Sorry I can't stay longer but you know, getting chased by the cops and all." Said Pyramid Head. "Tell me about it." The mannequin monster replied, and then Charlie came over and scooped up Pyramid Head like an unborn pup, carrying him back to the car. "I'll call you!" The mannequin monster shouted as Pyramid Head waved goodbye.