Today is a day to be happy with. It was hard for you to exist today, to want to be real and alive and to try. Not sure why, you just didn't want life today. You remedied that quickly, however, simply by deciding to change your hair. You decided that if no one wanted to appreciate your black hair, you'd wash it all out and apply the silver, which, in your opinion, looks far better and everyone else liked a lot. It was such a huge boost to your self esteem to have it and although you don't look forward to falling asleep with it, you're pleased with how it's come out.
Dyeing your hair and talking to people is all you really did today. You made minor changes to the .ini files of one of your games in order to make sure that it would run properly with some of the new files that you added for beautification, but other than that and a bit of French, you stayed home. You wanted today to be quite laid back, seeing as how you went HARD yesterday, and have plans tomorrow, Friday with Liber, and Halloween with a friend who you've not seen in a long time. You're really excited for tomorrow because you're gonna make one of your dyes permanent, Friday because you really like being around and talking to Liber, and Halloween because you will at least have someone to see and be around and maybe even sing TNBC songs with.
Tomorrow you want to do more meditating, you want to be more in touch. You've been looking to be more like air and these past few days you've been distracting yourself in order to stay light, but you know that isn't real growth or helpful. You need to be in touch with yourself and then let the heavy things go. It's going to be difficult, but it's necessary. You looked at the pictures of Halcyon today and wanted to post them. You want those memories out there, saved. You want them to matter, but you know you have to let them go. You want her return, but you know it won't occur. And that's totally okay. You just have to actually accept it. Because even though you know it's okay, you have to be okay with it and have your emotions reflect that. So tomorrow, you will work. You also gotta finish Sadie's playlist because honestly, it's gonna be great and you hope it's something she'll actually like and appreciate.
You need to do some prep for tomorrow, making sure you go to sleep on time, etc, so we end this here. However, remember this: it is all okay. I know everything is really hard right now, but you got this. Keep going, even if it's slow. Keep your progress and float about. Stay light, unburdened and remember that it isn't as deep or important as you may feel it is. And that's totally okay. Feel things, and let them go. Let them be and simply exist. They deserve that respect and you deserve the chance to be okay. You got this.
Superius sicut inferius,
Tarathyl, the Silvered
YOU ARE READING
Diurnal Trials
SpiritualI'm keeping a journal. These won't be rants like Brooding, they'll be moreso journaling and affirmation, writing letters to myself in order to promote positivity and loving myself. I've written many letters to Sir Nemo, and that helped me. Now, I wo...
