It all started with a Hen Night

14 The Past Catches Up, More Confused Than Ever

Grabbing Penny by the elbow, "Ladies now!" I hissed, turning around. I'd just seen Robert who I used to work with. We never made it.

"Paula," he called, "wait."

What could I do? I let him catch up. After introductions all round and explaining that I now called myself Pauline, we went for coffee.

"What are you doing in these parts?"

"I've been returning some of my ex-girlfriend's clothes that she kept at my place."

My reaction to ex-girlfriend surprised me, does that mean he's looking for a new girlfriend? I'd never noticed how handsome and gorgeous, he was. Those lips have never looked so appealing, what would it be like to kiss them?

Aware that I wasn't paying attention because Penny was kicking me under the table. I tried to rejoin the conversation that she was keeping going.

Robert was saying it was Kelly that had pushed it and not the other way round. "We all assumed it was just a joke, but it got out of hand and you seemed OK with it. So we played along and soon we all accepted you as one of the women at the office. Not that it was an excuse. Kelly had been in denial about her own sexuality and was using you. In her own twisted logic, your friends assumed you were in an odd, but normal sexual relationship. She instead could pretend you were both lesbian. None of us realised just how it was between you, until the breakup. That breakup brought her to her senses and seems to have allowed you both to move on and be yourselves. She is now happily living with her new lover, called Alison, or Al as she liked to be called."

"What made you all think you could feminise me?"

"Well, you were always just that bit feminine, your style and grooming just borderline."

Listening to him, I begin to fantasise again, what would it be like to cuddle up in those arms? To feel the love, the joy, the closeness and protection, as he wrapped me in his embrace?

"Ohhh ... I'm going to c..." I squeaked, blushing. A warm sticky wetness had exploded in my panties, soaking my bottom. I needed to move, to avoid a visible stain.

Penny's eyebrows shot up, I could see the questioning look on her face.

Robert's mouth hung open in surprise.

I needed a polite and quick exit, so exchanging phone numbers, promising to meet again I kissed his cheek. Waddling off to the ladies with as much dignity as is possible, with panties full of cum, I almost dragged Penny after me.

"Did you jus ..."

"Check the back of my skirt," I hissed.

"Your skirt looks ok. ... You did, you just came. ... "

"Stop with the questions! Even I don't understand what just happened," tears coming to my eyes.

There was the usual queue but a cubicle soon became available. Shutting the door behind me, I checked the seat for any dribbles. It looked ok, but I gave it a good wipe. Off came my tights and panties. Sitting, I took a big handful of toilet paper and wiped up the mess, then I freshened up with a couple of wet-ones. Taking the spare panties from my handbag and a pantie liner, a bit late now, I re-tucked and pulled them up. Cleaning up the worst I rolled the soiled panties into the pantie liner bag and put it in my handbag. Nothing had got through to the tights so back on they went, stockings would have been easier, I thought. I found Penny waiting outside after I'd washed my hands.

As we went to get the bus I whispered, "Do you think anybody noticed?."

I think at least half the cafe realised you were having a Meg Ryan moment, but only Robert and I knew the truth."

"Oh no, don't rub it in," I said embarrassed.

She giggled.

"What? ... oh! ... You've got a twisted mind."

I wanted to get home as soon as possible and have a bath. We sat in silence on the bus. I could almost see the questions she was dying to ask, I was also asking them of myself.

Arriving back at our bedsit, Penny said "When you've freshened up come round to mine. I'll make us something to eat tonight and we need to have a serious talk!"

Back in my room, I sorted out my shopping. She was right I needed to talk about what happened today. I looked at myself in the mirror as I undressed, liking what I saw. I unzipped my figure hugging-skirt, stepping out of it, undid the buttons on my blouse and took it off. Off came my tights. Admiring myself in the mirror, just in my bra and panties. I thought this is the real me. Thank you, Kelly. Even though I wanted to hate Kelly, I couldn't, she had somehow liberated my true self. I sat and carefully removed my makeup.

In the bathroom, I took off my bra, the cups filled with my forms. That breast enlargement cream had been useless, might as well stop using it, for all the good it was doing, but my skin felt nice and soft. Maybe I'd try it elsewhere. Pulling down my panties, untucking and exposing my penis, I wondered what I should do about it.

I showered, dressed, went round to Penny's, we ate, washed up and sat down to talk. I'd been going on and on, throughout the meal, about my confusion. I still couldn't decide what to do. Was I a woman in the wrong body? I'd never reacted to a man as I had today. In my sexual fantasies my partner, my lover could be either male or female, but I was always female.

"Pauline! Did you hear what Robert said?"

"Yes, Kelly was a closet lesbian and she has now come out."

"I knew you weren't listening. She is also six months pregnant."

"Oh, who's the father?"

"YOU!"

"HOW?"

"Pauline, you can be a bit dim at times. You are the only person, with a penis, that she has been with."

I was speechless, in shock. I was a father?

"Pauline, hello, say something."

"I can't be a father ... no, I mean ... I feel more woman than man. How can I cope with this, I'm just coming round to the idea ... well you know ... the possibility of G R S. Why didn't she tell me?"

I was finding it difficult to understand all the thoughts in my head. I was going to be a dad! I should be a mum! Why couldn't it be me that was pregnant? What did being pregnant feel like? I was envious. I was proud. Did this affect my future? What was my future????