The Fame Game || Tom Holland

ten: come home

Ten: Come Home (T)

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As the front door to Tom's house shuts behind you, Tom finds himself slumping against the wooden frame, grief overcoming his senses. He's tired and his arms hurt, everything hurts, but he peers up through the windowpane at the top of the door and watches as you run out through the sheets of rain. Paparazzi flashes illuminate his garden, capturing you as you stride purposefully to your car, duck down and enter it. A moment later, the car pulls away from the pavement and disappears.

Tom kicks at the door.

"Fuck!"

His hands curl into fists as he turns around and leans with his back against the door, frustrated eyes falling onto his jacket and his keys. For a moment he contemplates picking them up and making a mad dash after you, reckoning he could probably beat you to Heathrow if he drove recklessly enough, but then he sags.

Tom has to give you space. You've asked for space. He has to respect it.

His hand twitches as he walks out of the porch, as if his very fingers can feel how badly he wants to reach out and grab the keys, but he leaves them. Instead, Tom climbs the stairs and walks straight into the spare room, throwing himself down onto the bed and burrowing his head in the pillows. He groans - loudly.

It was always a long shot - telling you how he felt. And in some ways, Tom's admission of love had gone quite well. You reciprocate his feelings, which, really, is the most essential part of it all. But that reciprocation is only the tip of the iceberg, and it goes far deeper than that - because you still left. Tom is still alone, curled up on the bed that smells distantly of you, clenching his fingers feebly around the sheets that he'd refused to let Harrison change, even months after you'd left. Your perfume lingers on the cotton.

There's the small pattering sound of paws moving over wooden floors, and Tom's lips quirk up ever so slightly as he pulls his face from the pillows just to see Tessa trot into the bedroom. She plods towards the bed but hesitates, sniffing around the wardrobe. One of the doors hangs half-open, and Tom notices that you've left it barren.

Tessa whines.

"I know, I know, girl." Tom looks at the dog, smiling sadly. Tessa looks miserable. "I miss her too, yeah? But it's going to be okay." His words hitch, and Tom reaches up to pinch the bridge of his nose as he feels his heart clench. "It... It's a bit fucked up, but it'll be okay. She... She loves me, at least." He breaks off, laughing awkwardly. "And she knows now, too, that I love her. And yeah, she still left, but... Maybe one day I'll see her again." Tom sighs. "Probably not, though. Bloody hell, I'm so... I'm so stupid, Tess."

Tessa looks up at Tom. Tom sighs.

"And now I'm talking to my dog like a lunatic," he mutters. Tom sits back against the pillows, hands settling over his stomach. "This is actually pathetic."

Tessa emits a loud whine before jumping up onto the bed, her wet nose jutting into Tom's neck. He sighs, smiling as he reaches up to run his hands all over her sleek body.

"You wouldn't leave me, eh, Tess?" He mutters. "You love me?" He's sitting up properly, smiling as Tessa basks in the cuddles, releasing happy yips. "Thought so."

Tom stays in the spare room - your room - for almost an hour, cuddling with Tessa, pondering his predicament. He's wallowing in it, miserably staring at the ceiling and torturing himself with the ins and outs of the conversation he'd had with you. He loves you, but he understands why you wouldn't believe him. Tom understands that he's hurt you and that he needs to respect your choice to leave, but that doesn't make it any less gutting.