Thin

Chapter Two - Lies

 Chapter Two – Lies

“Dad, I’m home!” I scream as I walk through the front door.

          He doesn’t answer; not that I expected him to. On most occasions, he’s fast asleep by the time I get home from school and today is no different. Just to make sure, I slip off my TOMS slowly and place it on the rack next to the door that I just walked through and dump my light book bag down next to it.  I can hear my heavy footfall echo through the empty house as I trail through the living room and to the door of my dad’s bedroom.

         He must have forgotten to shut the door tightly, since it was cracked open a touch. Shaking my head at his bad habit, I gently push the door all the way open. Walking in, I'm greeted with the loud snores that drifted out from Dad’s slightly opened mouth. I smile at the familiar scene that I’ve grown up around all the way before I could even remember. He’s a nighttime truck driver, so he sleeps most of his days away. I don’t really mind it; it’s less food that I’m forced to stuff down me.

        Ugh, just thinking of food makes my stomach rumble and roar, happily reminding me that I haven’t eaten a single ounce today. I’m so proud of myself; I am strong. It takes a weak girl to give in to the pains and eat but a strong girl to face the whispering and not anything.

        But today is Wednesday, which means I'll actually have to eat. On Wednesday, Dad will wake up at 5:30, start making some kind of disgusting, evil food that’ll be loaded with fat. When he calls me down, I’ll have to pretend to be like every other teenage girl – by just stuffing my face with enough food and calories so he’ll never be suspicious of any eat disorder.

        Dreading what was to come, I walk out of the room and head up the staircase that leads to my own personal cave. My room was the only one upstairs; all the other rooms are downstairs. When I was still being called “it” and lived in my mother’s womb, they bought this house fully intending it to be filled with kids in the near future. So there’s plenty of room here – way more than two people need, but how were they supposed to know that she’d die giving birth?

        Shutting my door, I instantly find my way to the queen sized bed that’s squeezed between the two huge windows that let in all the sun, due to me not having any curtains or blinds on them. Sinking into the heaven on earth, I pull the extra comfy blanket up to my face; my head barely visible against my thousands of pillows that I pile against the board of the bed. Lying there, I could feel my anchor of a body pulling me down, wanting to swallow me whole. But it won’t touch me now, not as my eyelids drift down and my thoughts float away to a familiar far off place.

“Ky!"

        The voice doomed up the stairs, waking me up from the only place I could ever truly be myself. It never last long enough; I never get her secret – the secret of how she got so thin. The closest I’ve ever got is starving myself, which I’m doing now.  She’s so skinny, and I’m not; I don’t think I got the right answer, but it’s all I have to cling to.

        Pulling the blanket off of me, I slowly pull myself up off the bed, careful that I don’t move to fast and make myself fall over. I should head straight downstairs to my awaiting dad, but food is waiting too. It’s always waiting. So instead I walk over to my small vanity – keeping my head down, so that I don’t accidently catch a glimpse at my reflection – and grab a brown hair tie. Bending my head down, I gather all my hair to the top of my hair, pulling my hair back into a high ponytail.

        It’s quite sad when even doing this simple task, causes a burning sensation in my neck and back, but it’s worth it. I’ll be thin; forever thin. But in the meantime, I run my fingers through my ponytail, making sure that my sure-to-be-there bedhead infested hair didn’t look too bad. I then adjust my size-too-big school hoodie before he yells again, “Kyleigh! Dinner!”