The Love Score || Zhuo Zhi

52: Dance to the Flow

I clenched and unclenched my fists anxiously in the pockets of my denim vest. "I shouldn't have consented to this!" I groaned, thumping my head against the whitewashed wall of the lounging room we were in. I glanced to the clock attached on the wall-- we had half an hour more before we had to go onstage.

The room was relatively empty since many of the dancers had gone outside to check out the Festival before our performance. Our teachers wanted them back twenty minutes before we performed, however. I slumped down onto the grey plastic chair unhappily, my bucket hat tilting forward and obstructing my vision.

My outfit was nearly the same as the one I was assigned to initially: the same black sweatpants, black shirt and denim vest. The only difference was the change in my hairstyle. I used to have the top half of my hair tied in a bun with the rest cascading down my back. Now I was imitating Li Jing's hairstyle, which consisted of my hair tied into two ponytails, one over each shoulder, and a bucket hat. Her bucket hat was supposedly black but mine was made of denim material to match my outfit better.

Li Jing sighed loudly beside me, "I wouldn't give my role up that easily either if I'm not in this state."

Yi Kai puffed his cheeks out, unsure of what to say to me. "Senior Yue En, I'm sure you'll do fine, don't overthink." 

I looked up slightly to watch the two under the brim of my hat. Yi Kai was at a loss and shooting Li Jing panicked looks, thinking that I wasn't paying attention. Li Jing shrugged nonchalantly and Yi Kai sighed in exasperation. "You know what, I'm going out to buy some drinks," Yi Kai stated shortly, turning on his heels and walking out the door.

I pouted, tipping my bucket hat upwards a little to prevent it from falling off my head. "I shouldn't be feeling nervous."

My eyes were still trained on the door, so I couldn't see Li Jing's reaction but I still heard her sigh, "I mean, you agreed to it. You can't turn back."

I scoffed, "You make it sound like I'm being cowardly."

"Senior, just be confident."

I sighed before directing my gaze to Li Jing. "How are you never nervous about performing?" I questioned. "The first time I saw you dance, I wondered how you could be so confident about it. I hate the attention on me."

Li Jing grinned. "Why did you join the club, then?"

"Seemed fun," I said, then scoffed at my lame excuse. "I guess I just wanted some involvement in the school activities. And mostly because I love dancing."

Li Jing raised her eyebrows at me. "There's your reason. You dance because you love it. Not because you want others to praise you. Not because it is an obligation or you want to achieve something. But because it's something you love doing."

Why do her words sound so vaguely familiar, but I just can't put my finger on where I've heard it?

"You said that you danced because you want to be better than your peers," I pointed out.

"Nah," Li Jing shook her head. "I'm competitive because I used to think that getting the attention was nice. But putting that aside, I'd still dance because it's something I enjoy."

"So you get your confidence from your love for dancing," I stated, suddenly feeling like Li Jing was a whole lot wiser than I was.

"Uh-huh," Li Jing nodded. "If you dance solely because you enjoy it, all the minor details to worry about are just pushed to the back of your mind. You just dance to the flow."

At that second, the door swung open and Yi Kai had three canned drinks in his hands. He ambled into the room and put them out before us. "Pick one," he said shortly. "Hurry. My fingers are freezing."