Trials and Tribulations

Chapter 31

"Camz?" Lauren prompted after a moment when Camila still hadn't responded, her girlfriend's eyes looking down at her hands which she'd lowered in to her lap between them. "Camila?" she pushed, lifting Camila's chin with her hands and forcing her to finally meet her questioning gaze. Camila's chest was still heaving, her breaths sharp and ragged as she tried to fill her lungs with oxygen. "How drunk are you?" Camila asked her after a moment, her breath slowing. "I'm not drunk," Lauren slurred slightly. "Lauren?" Camila protested, hearing the unclear words as they left her mouth. "Ok, so I might be a little bit drunk," Lauren conceded, holding up her hand and making a gesture with her thumb and index finger to demonstrate the measure. "That doesn't change anything though," she said indistinctly, reaching for Camila's hand and taking it within her own, missing slightly on the first attempt, her perception poor. "I've wanted to be with you for a while now Camz," she admitted. "It's not because I've been drinking, I promise..." "That's not the problem," Camila told her, rubbing the back of Lauren's hand with her thumb. "I don't

doubt your intentions or your motives. I really, really want to be with you too," Camila told her genuinely and the dopey smile on Lauren's face grew in reaction to the words. "I just, ok...so please don't hate me..." Camila said dropping her gaze. "I could never hate you Camz," Lauren told her seriously, reaching up her free hand to brush the side of Camila's cheek reassuringly. Camila lifted her eyes to meet her girlfriends again as she continued. "I don't want our first time to be like this," Camila shared with her honestly as she gestured between them with her right hand. "Don't get me wrong, I love you and I want to be with you but..." "You want it to be special." Lauren finished for her understanding. "I want you to remember it tomorrow," Camila clarified. "I don't think I'll ever forget a moment that I'm with you Camz," Lauren said earnestly, the sincerity in her voice ringing loudly in the silence between them. "You know what I mean," Camila laughed lightly after a moment. "Stop trying to be so cute when I'm trying to be honest with you." She scolded playfully. "Ok," Lauren promised and Camila continued. "I love you," Camila reiterated again, playing with a strand of Lauren's hair in her right hand. "You know that I do," she added dropping her gaze to her girlfriend's lips "but recently, things have started to...progress in our relationship." she carried on after a slight pause to consider her wording, lifting her eyes to meet the emerald green pair once again. "It's too much for you." Lauren

interceded before Camila could finish, watching her girlfriend closely trying to understand. "Everything is moving too fast, I know, I'm sorry...you should have said something." She told Camila, misunderstanding. "No," Camila replied placing a hand on Lauren's shoulder in order to stop her wayward thoughts. "They're not," she told her emphasizing the point. "That's what I'm trying to tell you Lauren." Camila continued simply. "I want to be with you like that," Camila shared with her blushing slightly. "I do... just, when you're sober." "You do?" Lauren questioned smiling, desperate for further affirmation. "Yes," Camila said leaning forward to kiss Lauren on the lips, forcing her girlfriend back against the bed as her bodyweight sank into her. She separated from her slowly, keeping their faces close and brushing Lauren's cheek with her thumb as she did so. "I do." "Me too," Lauren replied leaning forward to initiate another kiss with Camila. This time it wasn't heated, it wasn't hungry, it was chaste; innocent, and Lauren didn't know which kind she preferred most, both stirring the familiar butterflies in her stomach to life in an instant. "You should get to sleep," Camila sighed as they parted, her forehead resting against Lauren's, the tips of their noses touching. "I'm not tired," Lauren confessed, placing her hands on Camila's upper arms and rubbing them soothingly. "I don't think that I could sleep even if I wanted to right now. I feel quite lively actually. Perhaps it's the alcohol," she mused to herself. "At least get changed in to your pyjamas and get in to bed," Camila

suggested helpfully. "You're not going to want to sleep when you're sat down here on the floor." "Will you stay with me?" Lauren asked Camila as her hands found her girlfriends abdomen and brushed the flesh there lightly through her white dress. "I don't think that's a good idea," Camila replied. "Nothing will happen," Lauren told her. "I promise I just want you to stay in here with me, that's all. I don't expect anything." "It's not because of that," Camila replied. "Itrust you..." "You don't trust yourself?" Lauren interrupted surprised and Camila laughed. "I have nightmares," Camila chuckled, lifting her head back from Lauren's to meet her gaze properly. "Bad ones and I scream in my sleep..." "I don't care," Lauren responded. "Maybe not now," Camila laughed, "but, believe me, you will when I wake you up in a few hours middream..." "You'll share a bed with Dinah though?" Lauren asked puzzled. "Dinah's used to it," Camila replied simply. "Plus, she's normally a really heavy sleeper. Accept that one time, which, we aren't discussing because of how ridiculously I reacted." Camila informed her. "I don't want to worry you if I have one. They're kind of intense." "You won't," Lauren protested, giving Camila a meaningful look. "Come on Camz..." she pleaded, "please stay with me. You've slept on the bed with me before and it's been fine..." "That was different," Camila sighed, "it was during the day...I've only ever had nightmares, well, overnight...besides, I'm an insomniac," Camila sighed. "I probably won't sleep for hours yet." "Perfect, you can protect me