The containers were long forgotten on the floor as Bellamy and I laid in my bed. Neither one of us wanted to get up as we enjoyed the silence.
My head on his chest as his arm was wrapped around my waist. The final berry laid digesting in my stomach. A victory I took pleasure in not sharing despite the pout I received followed with a threat that wasn't delivered.
"Bell." I moved my head to face him as he continued to glance down at me. "What are we doing?" I heard Bellamy sigh, this same question one I had asked only a day ago.
"I'd say we're watching the sunset, but we're not." I rolled my eyes, picking myself up off his chest and rested my weight on my right hand as I hovered over him.
"I'm serious. We just spent the past hour locked in this room while the world continued on around us." Bellamy started to sit up and we adjusted so we could face each other. His hands clasped in his lap as he looked into my eyes.
"Do you regret it?" I shook my head no, the simple and honest answer. "Then why are you worrying." I sighed looking into his eyes.
"I'm normally good at finding people's motives, identifying their personal goals. But I can't determine what yours is." Bellamy smiled and stood up walking around to my side of the bed and holding out his hand for me to take.
"Come on, I'll show you." I followed him into the bathroom as he flicked the lights on and set me in front of the mirror, staggering himself so I could see him. I went to open my mouth but he cut me off. My eyes widening as he did so.
"I know you're guarded.
I am too it's an easy thing to do
When you're just getting started
You've got scars, babe
And you try so hard to keep them out of view
'Cause you think they're alarming."
Bellamy wrapped his hands around my waist and I let him, my own resting on top as he continued. His slight husk in his voice made me fight a smile. Our eyes meeting in the mirror as I bit my bottom lip.
"I want more than just your body
Loving what my eyes see
Got me thinking maybe you could be the one
Take me deeper than the surface
Show me where the hurt is
Teach me and I'll learn it I want to keep you safe
Let me see you naked."
His voice piercing the walls around me as he unwrapped his hands from my waist and spun me around. I felt my smile breaking across my face, a small laugh joining. And I didn't try to hide.
"Show your heart and
I promise I won't break it"
He twirled me around and pulled me back to him. Looking me in the eyes as he continued.
"Tell me your heartbreaks
Your first kiss, first time it took your breath away
I want to know everything
And when you cry babe
Should I hold you close or let you have your space"
I felt my smile growing as he spun me around and I let him lead me through my room, dancing carefree. Our smiles matching. My brain angrily flashing warning signs as I gave him hope. As I gave myself hope.
Something I would regret later on. I didn't want to hurt him. I could hurt myself over and over again, but not him. He didn't deserve my turmoil. He deserved someone who knew the meaning of love.
"Take off hesitations and put them all to bed with me, oh
And layer by layer we can strip it off piece by piece."
My hesitations. My eyes clouded as I let go off his hand and stepped away. My smile dropping as I looked at the ground. Bellamy didn't follow me but continued nonetheless.
"Show your heart and
I promise I won't break it."
I bit my lip, not wanting to look at him. My eyes slamming shut as I felt his hand on my wrist.
"Let me see you,"
He began to turn me towards him, my eyes still shut as I held in the angry tears.
"Let me see you"
His voice was so soft as it caressed my face and I nearly opened my eyes. But held off as he grabbed my chin and gently lifted to where I could stare at him as soon as I opened my eyes.
"Let me see you."
He drew special emphasis on the you and my eyes fluttered open. Showing him the tears I was hiding, revealing all of my chaotic thoughts, my darkness, everything, I let him see me. Not the facade of empty or mask of emotionlessness I donned. But me.
When I blinked, all but the cloudy haze in my eyes went away. And Bellamy remained staring into my eyes, searching for what I had just revealed in a flash for him, but an eternity for me.
"I want to see you, the real you." He whispered and I felt my heart clutch itself, swooning at the sincerity.
"And I want to see you happy." I whispered back to him. My hand reaching up to gently pull his down and move backwards.
"And what if you make me happy?" I gave a weak, sad smile as I shook my head.
"One day, maybe. But today, I'm holding you at a distance. I can't be that close to your heart when you realize the dangerous part of me is the darkness inside."
I watched Bellamy open his mouth but decided to stop him before he could utter a word.
"If you think you want to see the real me, then we need to start off slow. Refresh and begin with a blank page tomorrow. Keep me as a friend, and if your mind doesn't change," I trailed off, not knowing what else to say.
"When my mind doesn't change, I get to find the real you. And we make that journey, together." I stuck my hand out to shake on it. Not bothering to inform him that he's hoping an awful lot.
"You have to promise if you find someone you go for it, with everything you can give." Bellamy paused just as he was about to shake my hand. Probably looking for loopholes in the new addition to the deal.
"And you have to promise not to fall in love with me until you're ready." I watched him smirk as I rolled my eyes, a smile on my face at his cocky remark.
"And the Fake is back in the building, folks."
"Always a pleasure to entertain, Shadow."
Maybe things would be alright after all. And my silent growing feelings would disappear like the mountain men. Now and forever.
YOU ARE READING
Persphyni : I am Dangerous
Fanfiction"The sun, the warmth, it was like a blanket. A beautiful, bright, blanket that burned. Burned, my demons away, brightening my darkness." A smile that was received in a large family hug. These were my people, and I planned to die if it meant they we...
