O T H E R eleven

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Noah's POV

"Jackson" I say, as he comes through the front door. I'm sitting alone in the kitchen. Dropping his backpack on the stairs, he changes direction and comes toward me, stopping in the doorway. I've been sulking in my room for a week and haven't talked to any of the guys.

"Haven't seen you in awhile" Jackson says "you good?"

"Yeah, I fixed everything with Shiloh. It took a week to convince her to take me back but everything is good now."

He purses his lips and gives a tight nod "Mmm" is all he says.

After what just happened with Sierra at the coffeehouse I'm not sure if I'm just on edge but Jackson seems mad at me.

"Umm..Are you good?" I ask.

"Yup" his answer is curt. Yeah, he's definitely mad at me.

"What's up, man?" I ask, not sure what I could have done to upset him. He's been my best friend since freshman year, my teammate. I feel like, after four years, we're practically brothers. I feel uncomfortable standing here in front of him, an angry glare set on his face.

"Nothing, man. Glad everything worked out for you." He turns to walk away.

"Jackie?" I ask again "what's up, man?"
He turns and looks at me, I can tell he wants to say something but he's stopping himself.

He shakes his head "You're a fucking asshole, Noah."

"W-what?" I'm surprised, I don't know what I did to him.

"You don't even know do you?" He asks with a humorless laugh. All I can do is shake my head. What is going on today?

"You broke her fucking heart" he says quietly.

"Wait, this is about Evie?" I ask, jumping up from my chair.

"Sierra called me after you stopped by their apartment last week. Evie cried for over an hour. Sierra said you called her a bitch. She's not a bitch, Noah." He's seething.

"Man, do you even know what she did? Shiloh broke up with me, you saw it!"

"Yeah, I know what she did. I also know she was drunk out of her mind and she went home and cried about it, feeling guilty for upsetting Shiloh. She wanted to apologize to her. At least she feels bad about what she did. Do you?"

"I-I, yeah. I feel bad about what I said to her."

"What about everything else? Do you feel bad about sleeping with her for four years even though you knew she was in love with you?"

"I didn't know!"

"That's a fucking lie and you know it" hes yelling now "even Dylan and Christian could see how she felt about you and they are fucking idiots! Everyone could tell."

There was an uncomfortable silence for a few minutes before he let out a humorless laugh.

"You never appreciated her. I wanted to ask her out so many times over the years."

"Why didn't you?" I never knew he felt that way about her.

"Did you really never notice that she didn't date? She shot down everyone who asked."

I feel guilt settle into my chest. "I guess I didn't notice a lot of things."

"She's amazing, man. So smart and sweet."

"I know I didn't handle things right but I do know that she's a great girl. I fucked everything up last week but before that she was always a good friend."

He gives me a tight nod so I continue "I ran into Sierra earlier. She ripped me a new one, very publicly."

This makes him smile slightly "You should have known to avoid her."

"I wanted to apologize to Evie but she said to leave her alone."

"Maybe thats for the best" his tone serious "just leave it alone. She can't seem to have a friendship with you. You should just let this be. You have a girlfriend now. I know you actually care about Evie but you guys can't have a relationship that she wants."

I nod my head. I didn't want a committed relationship with her but I did care for her. I didn't realize how much I was hurting her all this time. I guess I did realize that she liked me and wanted more with me than I did with her. I feel like shit that our relationship is ending like this, that our four year friendship was ending with her hurting, without any closure or apologies from me.

I was so freaked out by my feelings for Shiloh that I almost forgot about Evie. Shit, at one point I completely forgot about her. I was so wrapped up in trying to get Shiloh to see how serious I am about our relationship I didn't realize that my friendship with Evie would probably end.

She's been a really great friend for four years. I didn't set out to actively use her all this time and it upsets me to know that she, and everyone else, thinks that is all I thought of her. I'm going to leave her alone, let her separate herself from her feelings for me. She deserves to find someone that loves her, someone that wants her, the way I want Shiloh.

I rub my hands over my face "I feel like a dick, man."

"As you should" Dylan laughs, walking in and grabbing a Gatorade from the fridge.

I give him a "fuck you" look. He raises his hands in surrender. "I'm just saying, man, you're our friend and all but, most of us would have failed at least one class without her."

I hate that even Dylan immediately knows what were talking about without hearing the conversation. Everyone must think I'm an asshole.

"Heather texted me" he continues, laughing "she said you got your ass handed to you at that coffee place. What happened?"

"Ugh" I groan "I ran into Sierra and she had a few thoughts she wanted to share."

Jackson and Dylan laugh "You deserved that much" Dylan says, still laughing as he leaves the kitchen.

"Umm, hey Jackie" I ask seriously "I'm going to leave her alone. You're right, I need to give her space but, next time you see her, can you tell her that I don't think she's a bitch and that I'm sorry for the things I said to her?"

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