What could have happened but didn't

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Jay: I said I was sorry!
Damian: it doesn't change what you did!
Jay: You're such a drama queen
Damian: You're a bitch
Mara: Girls. Girls. Why are you fighting?
Damian: You're bitch boyfriend killed my cat.
Mara: So?
Damian: So? What! He killed Alfred.
Mara: oh my god! He killed Alfred! Jason Peter Todd! What is wrong with you? Why would you kill poor Alfred?
Alfred Pennyworth: Miss Mandrake, sorry to interrupt you angry rant but I am very much alive.
Mara: Oh... so that means Jason killed Alfred the cat.
Damian: Yes, didn't I say this at the beginning of the conversation!
Mara: I just thought that it was something stupid, I mean Barbara created this group chat, right?
Jay: Yep
Babs: Excuse me???🤬
Mara: Ah shit. I forgot she was in this.
Damian: but you just said her name.
Mara: Shut up twerp.
Jay: Forget about it, man, she's wasted
Damian: Wasted?
Bruce: if anyone tells him what it means I'll send you to Arkham.
Jay: He's ten! I knew what it meant when I was ten.
Damian: but in your defence your parents were druggies
Jay: Can I kill him?
Bruce: No, you cannot kill my son
Dick: Sorry about Alfie, D
Tim: Why don't you just get another cat?
Damian: because my cat's dead, moron
Tim: I'm not a moron, it just seems like you can just get another cat
Jay: Someone's gay for their dead cat.
Damian: At least I'm not gay for my roommate.
Mara: Dickhead. I'm his roommate and I am not a man.
Dick: You promised my therapist that you wouldn't say that when I'm around.
Mara: I don't even know what to say right now
Damian: Back to my problem. Someone better buy me a new cat or I'll kill Jason
Tim: I think Mara is literally the only person in this entire family that would stop you.
Bruce: Yeah, that's true
Mara: I just realized that when it comes to any of us Bruce doesn't give a shit
Jay: That was kind of obvious, Mare
Mara: but when it comes to Damian/demon boy, Bruce is all lovey dovey
Jay: Unless a woman is involved
Mara: Exactly!

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