An Apology

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"Adar...?" ("Father...?") Thranduil turned his head ever so slightly. "I-I'm...sorry," Ellendil said, looking at her feet.

"Sorry does not fix things, Ellendil, you know this," Thranduil said, turning to her, a glass of red wine in his hand.

Ellendil couldn't help it as she said, "Adar, im reallui don't heni-" ("Father, I really don't understand-")

"Ellendil...," Thranduil said warningly.

"Why do I have to-"

"Quiet, Ellendil!" he ordered, sweeping forward in his white robes, gazing down at her. 

Ellendil fell quiet and looked away, avoiding his gaze.

"Ceri- cín apologies foeg nothing?" ("Do your apologies mean nothing?") Thranduil demanded. "Eithel?" ("Well?")

Ellendil closed her eyes and took a breath then looked up at him. "Forgive me," she sighed, "But I've heard the land beyond Greenwood is-"

"How would you know Ellendil? You know nothing, because I have kept you from those dangers," her father said; his voice slightly rising.

"But not EVERYTHING is dangerous out there!" Ellendil argued, not breaking eye contact. "What of Lord Elrond and Riverdale> THEY'RE not dangerous. Or Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn in Lothlórien? Or-"

"Dain," ("Silence,") her father ordered, cutting her off.

Ellendil fell quiet and looked back at her feet.

Thranduil tilted his chin up and said quietly, "Cin're just like Elerrian ." ("You're just like Elerrian.")

Ellendil froze. There had never been any mention of her mother; ever. Ellendil looked up at him, her eyes glistened with tears, but she did not let them come. 

"Ellendil," he said, his voice serious again, barely more than a stern whisper. "Do not go on believing in this dream. I lost your mother. I mustn't lose you. Understand?"

Their eyes met again and when she did not respond he said, "Ellendil...?"

She blinked. She loved her father dearly..., and yet he was asking her to give up something she didn't want to give; her dream. Ellendil closed her eyes for a moment, thinking. With a shaky breath she looked away, "Im don't know if im tur-." ("I don't know if I can.")

Ellendil did not say anything else for a long moment.

"Do not throw away your life for a world that is not meant for you," Thranduil said quietly, breaking the silence. 

"It is nothing more than a dream," her father went on, and as he did the claws dug deeper into her heart. "You are not a curious dwarf or a man that simply wants adventur. You are an Elf of Mirkwood. My daughter, and my subject. You are more than this Ellendil."

She looked away, because she knew he was right.

"Did cin hear nin, Ellendil?" ("Did you hear me, Ellendil?")

"Yes, adar," ("Yes, father,") Ellendil said quietly.

"A ceri- cin heni-?" ("And do you understand?")

"Yes, adar," ("Yes, father,") Ellendil said, meeting his gaze. "Im heni-. Ha was just a fantasui, a ha'll never happen." ("I understand. It was just a fantasy, and it'll never happen.")

With that Ellendil walked away, her heart split in two. One leaning towards the love for her father, and the other longing for adventure.

* * *

5 days later...

Ellendil stepped into the woods. She had been permitted to go in the woods again, and she couldn't look at her father right now, so why not go for a walk?

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⏰ Last updated: Nov 12, 2020 ⏰

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