Karma
April 4
12:10 pm
"Karma, you good?" My supervisor asked me as I sat outside, drinking an Arizona green tea. I nodded
"Yeah"
"Alright. I'm just making sure because I know how that first trimester gets sometimes"
I laughed "I promise I'm good for now. I just wanted to sit outside while I'm on break"
"Alright. Just let me know if you start feeling bad"
"I will.. thank you"
"No problem" she smiled before going back inside as some lady complained while she walked out.
"This bus need to hurry the hell up! I been here all morning" she ranted while flopping down on the bench beside me before glancing over at me, doing a double take. That's when I realized she was my birth mom
"Oh.." she dryly spoke "long time no see. How you been? I see you keeping yourself up. You a pretty girl"
"Thank you.. I'm good"
She nodded before turning her head, looking around before looking at me again "how that daddy of yours doing? He still a lawyer?"
"Yes. He is"
"Good cause ima need him to handle some stuff for me. That's the least he could do since I gave him a child" she randomly said as she scratched at the side of her nose
"A child that you left behind, right?" I asked and she seemed surprised I brought it up
"Excuse me?"
"Why did you do it? That's just all I really need to know"
"Why does it matter?" She shrugged and started digging through her chapped purse "you grown up, you lived in a nice house with a nice family and last I heard you doing great. What the past gone do for you?"
"You think all of that stuff is gonna just make me forget my mother that birthed me didn't want me? Like you said, I'm grown now so be honest with me"
"You want the truth?.." she started to talk while she pulled a box of cigarettes out of her bag and grabbed one "since you so grownnn now... well here's the truth, that sister of yours was already too much for me. You really think I wanted to deal with two kids especially while I'm tryina live my life. Hell, I barely wanted her"
She laughed to herself like it was funny and put the cigarette between her lips, starting to light it
"Can you not do that?"
"What? You too good to smoke?" She looked me up and down before putting the lighter down and took the cigarette out of her mouth "well anyways truth is, you were a mistake. I ain wanna tell it like it is but you want the truth. You was one of the best mistakes in my life though, I must admit. But I wasn't gonna have another man run out on me and leave me to take care of a baby I ain wanted in the first place so I told him if he left he better take you with him. I was just gonna give you up to the system at first but I was surprised when I found out his wife told him to get you.. she just as stupid as they come"
"She's stupid cause she stepped up and raised a child you didn't wanna keep cause you couldn't take him from his wife?" I asked with attitude
"Look lil girl. I did what I had to do to keep me happy" she told me as she stood up, seeing the bus making its way in this direction "and trust me. I'm not the only one yo daddy was fuckin while he was married to that lady. I'm pretty sure you got brothers and sisters all over knowing how he was. But what you need to do is thank me!"
